The worst television channel in the world. Here is how to Disney writers make a new television show:
1. instead of using your creativity use the simple plot line: Teenager(yes teenager) looks normal but has a secret : She is actually a (insert profession, mythical creature, or other thing).
2. Put some humorless, cheesy jokes into the script. Don't worry about them being funny, just add the background laughing
3. Cast the most prettiest, skinniest girl you can find. Acting talent not required because all they need to do is act funny. Singing talent can be needed, but more than likely you should just edit their voice
4. Shoot the show, but don't worry about reshooting. Plus: just make cardboard sets rather than actually spend money going to a place
5. ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE! One major thing to do is make the audience think that the main characteris like everybody else, but she isn't
6. Then make as much products as you can. Pencils, dolls(a must), bed-sheets, anything you can get your hands on. If your show gets a lot of viewers then you can make movies(should do a musical because Musicals are easy to write and easy to market)
7. Repeat cycle for next show
1. instead of using your creativity use the simple plot line: Teenager(yes teenager) looks normal but has a secret : She is actually a (insert profession, mythical creature, or other thing).
2. Put some humorless, cheesy jokes into the script. Don't worry about them being funny, just add the background laughing
3. Cast the most prettiest, skinniest girl you can find. Acting talent not required because all they need to do is act funny. Singing talent can be needed, but more than likely you should just edit their voice
4. Shoot the show, but don't worry about reshooting. Plus: just make cardboard sets rather than actually spend money going to a place
5. ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE! One major thing to do is make the audience think that the main characteris like everybody else, but she isn't
6. Then make as much products as you can. Pencils, dolls(a must), bed-sheets, anything you can get your hands on. If your show gets a lot of viewers then you can make movies(should do a musical because Musicals are easy to write and easy to market)
7. Repeat cycle for next show
*On the next episode of Lucy and the Country rednecks on Disney channel*
Disney actress: Oh my jizzle, Todd has a pig. No wonder he was all hoggish
Studio audience: Hahahahhahahahahahhawhahahhahahahahh
Teen viewer: Why the hell was funny?
Disney actress: Oh my jizzle, Todd has a pig. No wonder he was all hoggish
Studio audience: Hahahahhahahahahahhawhahahhahahahahh
Teen viewer: Why the hell was funny?
by Annemermaid1995 August 23, 2009
The go-to place for little rich girls who want to be famous, and in-the-closet pre-pubescent boys that are trying to convince people that they are straight. These children are usually featured in Children's TV Shows for about five years, and then have suddenly turned into either extreme sluts, or junkies (occasionally both!). About a year after that, these poor lost souls have had horrible publicity and/or suicidal thoughts. This is the ongoing cycle of the Disney Channel (a.k.a. the passageway to hell). The ending result is a 20-25 year old with fake hair, unhealthy weight, and ongoing hate from the social media and Shane Dawson.
Late 90's kid: I miss Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lovato. What happened to them?
21st Century Kid: Have you been living under a rock? Miley Cyrus has a horrible haircut and is married to Liam Hemsworth, The Jo-Bros are all broke and married with only one song out (Pom Poms) which is only about girl's asses, and Demi Lovato has been in rehab for cutting. Seriously, how could you have missed all of this?
Late 90's Kid: C'mon, all Disney Channel stars can't be THAT bad. What about Vanessa Hudgens?
21st Century Kid: Got kicked off of Disney Channel for posting naked pictures online, and had sex with James Franco in Spring Breakers.
Late 90's Kid: So I guess that the Disney Channel really IS just a workshop where good kids go bad and bratty kids are glorified.
21st Century Kid: Have you been living under a rock? Miley Cyrus has a horrible haircut and is married to Liam Hemsworth, The Jo-Bros are all broke and married with only one song out (Pom Poms) which is only about girl's asses, and Demi Lovato has been in rehab for cutting. Seriously, how could you have missed all of this?
Late 90's Kid: C'mon, all Disney Channel stars can't be THAT bad. What about Vanessa Hudgens?
21st Century Kid: Got kicked off of Disney Channel for posting naked pictures online, and had sex with James Franco in Spring Breakers.
Late 90's Kid: So I guess that the Disney Channel really IS just a workshop where good kids go bad and bratty kids are glorified.
by The One Who Knows All April 17, 2013
A good channel that all of a sudden became all about slutty singers and gay actors like Miley Cyrus, Demi Levato, Selena Gomez, and the gayest one of all:Joe Jonas. Disney Channel's bad streak began with the addition of Hannah Montana's second season, and has since then gone down hill, until 2007 when Disney Channel announced Phineas and Ferb, the only show, until Good Luck, Charlie that was actually watchable. Disney Channel appeals to 9 year olds, lesbians, and dumbasses
Disney Channel's rule may never end.... NEVER!
See also: fail, whores, and Nickelodeon
Disney Channel's rule may never end.... NEVER!
See also: fail, whores, and Nickelodeon
Ex1:
Duchebag: OMG! I love that slutty Miley Cyrus on her soon to be ending show Hannah Montana!
Dumbfuck: You watch that? I watch Wizards Of Waverly Place, starring the ultra slutty Selena Gomez
Some Jonas Obsessed Chick: I WATCH JONAS! HOW ABOUT YOU? I WANNA FUCK NICK JONAS, JOE JONAS AND KEVIN JONAS DURING A FOURSOME!!! LOLOLOL
Dumbfuck and Duchebag: Make that a Sixsome
Ex 2:
Person 1: I miss Lizzie McGuire, Kim Possible, and So Weird.
Person 2: I hate the new Disney Channel, it's full of Sluts now!
Ex 3:
Person 1: OMG! I LOVE Phineas and Ferb!!! It Rocks!
Person 2: Eww, it'll be lame soon
(20 minutes l8r)
Person 2: OMGZ! That's bomb show!
Person 1: Told ya! The only one Disney got right!
Duchebag: OMG! I love that slutty Miley Cyrus on her soon to be ending show Hannah Montana!
Dumbfuck: You watch that? I watch Wizards Of Waverly Place, starring the ultra slutty Selena Gomez
Some Jonas Obsessed Chick: I WATCH JONAS! HOW ABOUT YOU? I WANNA FUCK NICK JONAS, JOE JONAS AND KEVIN JONAS DURING A FOURSOME!!! LOLOLOL
Dumbfuck and Duchebag: Make that a Sixsome
Ex 2:
Person 1: I miss Lizzie McGuire, Kim Possible, and So Weird.
Person 2: I hate the new Disney Channel, it's full of Sluts now!
Ex 3:
Person 1: OMG! I LOVE Phineas and Ferb!!! It Rocks!
Person 2: Eww, it'll be lame soon
(20 minutes l8r)
Person 2: OMGZ! That's bomb show!
Person 1: Told ya! The only one Disney got right!
by ihateurmom June 14, 2010
Once an uplifting lexicon which was okay to watch every once in a while. Today, it's a preppy tenny bopper channel consisting of actors spawned in a genetics lab. Everything on Disney Chennel is overrated, such notable shows and actors include:
A show about a hefty psychic played by Raven Symone.
A show about living in a hotel with Ashley Tisdale as a receptionist. As a matter of fact. The scientists modded her to 23 years old because she was given "sensitive" traits.
A show about kids who think they are Harry Potter, such as Selena Gomez.
The Jonas Brothers, the most overrated band in history who make cameo appearances in all of Disney's modern day shows, and even had a TV Movie with Demi Lovato, which was awful. What kind of name is "Demi" anyway?
A bratty Disney Couple who also got their own documentaries. Vanessa Hudgens, can be summed up as a Filipino Paris Hilton who dresses sluttier. And Zac Enron-- I mean Zac Efron, who is clearly an idiot.
And the brattiest of all, Miley Cyrus who stars in a show about a country hick who is secretly a pop diva, that has sold out in concerts and marketing ploys.
All shows are unreal, with actors that are unreal who all can't sing. Infact the only real word they know is "gimme". A big shame comes from the American people who actually believe that they are perfect when clearly they are not even living humans.
A show about a hefty psychic played by Raven Symone.
A show about living in a hotel with Ashley Tisdale as a receptionist. As a matter of fact. The scientists modded her to 23 years old because she was given "sensitive" traits.
A show about kids who think they are Harry Potter, such as Selena Gomez.
The Jonas Brothers, the most overrated band in history who make cameo appearances in all of Disney's modern day shows, and even had a TV Movie with Demi Lovato, which was awful. What kind of name is "Demi" anyway?
A bratty Disney Couple who also got their own documentaries. Vanessa Hudgens, can be summed up as a Filipino Paris Hilton who dresses sluttier. And Zac Enron-- I mean Zac Efron, who is clearly an idiot.
And the brattiest of all, Miley Cyrus who stars in a show about a country hick who is secretly a pop diva, that has sold out in concerts and marketing ploys.
All shows are unreal, with actors that are unreal who all can't sing. Infact the only real word they know is "gimme". A big shame comes from the American people who actually believe that they are perfect when clearly they are not even living humans.
Disney Channel Actors: Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!
Normal peroson: No.
Disney Channel Actors: Waaaaaaaaahh! Ahhhhhhhh!
Normal peroson: No.
Disney Channel Actors: Waaaaaaaaahh! Ahhhhhhhh!
by Smart American Male December 29, 2008
A channel with very low-budget, unfunny shows that are somehow popular. All the special effects in Disney Channel are terrible, the sets are so fake you can see the glue holding it together, and the lighting is about as good as it is on Saturday Night Live. Most shows have one main character, and that one character sings the theme song, and is female 99.9% of the time. When one of the actors/actresses is out doing some other movie, they try to cover it as cheaply as possible. For example, on Wizards of Waverly Place, when Jennifer Stone was filming Harriet the Spy, they said that her character was on an extended vacation to the Bahamas or something. The jokes are lame and overused, and have laugh tracks following them that void whatever faint trace of humor there was to begin with. Most of the characters are high school age, and yet never curse, say perverted things, or even do anything that would be almost inappropriate for a six-year-old. Which is kind of pointless, because in today, an average child ten and under has seen like at least 10 R rated movies, so they've already seen that stuff and it wouldn't hurt to see it again. Yet, despite all these flaws, Disney Channel shows are extremely addictive to watch and you'll find yourself TiVo-ing every last one, and eagerly awaiting the time each week when a new episode comes out.
"Suite Life is, like, my favorite show.
I blame brainwash"
"The Disney Channel is soooo lame.
But I can't stop watching it..."
I blame brainwash"
"The Disney Channel is soooo lame.
But I can't stop watching it..."
by hashahahhaheshm October 26, 2010
Disney Channel used to be a very good channel before 2006. Later on, Hannah Montana started and destroyed the whole channel. It ended later somewhere in 2011. Somewhere in the late 2000's, a new show called Wizards of Waverly Place came. That show ended earlier in 2012. Somewhere in 2010, Shake it Up aired and that's when the channel started going downwards.
All they have on Disney Channel is their sluts acting like they care about their fans and the fans go like "OMG! DID YOU JUST HEAR ABOUT CECE JONES'S NEW SONG?!". Actually, this channel doesn't want to show that much commercials of other places. Instead, they mostly use THEIR commercials. All you see is commercials of their upcoming shows, their "This is Me" fillers, and their, um, shitty music videos. This channel has gotten so lazy, they aired a commercial having the year of 2010 in the middle of it. Their sitcoms, I mean decoms, are just movies that are made from the same sluts they use in their shows. Nearly every slut in the channel sings. Even their Shake it Up channels are horrible!! Girls are pretty much copying every single thing they do on Disney Channel. This channel is aimed towards 7-12 year old girls. If you're a boy and you're over 20, shame on YOU. The only reason I watch Disney Channel is because of Phineas and Ferb. That show is awesome.
The bad part is that this channel is filthy rich, so it will stay up for a pretty damn long time.
All they have on Disney Channel is their sluts acting like they care about their fans and the fans go like "OMG! DID YOU JUST HEAR ABOUT CECE JONES'S NEW SONG?!". Actually, this channel doesn't want to show that much commercials of other places. Instead, they mostly use THEIR commercials. All you see is commercials of their upcoming shows, their "This is Me" fillers, and their, um, shitty music videos. This channel has gotten so lazy, they aired a commercial having the year of 2010 in the middle of it. Their sitcoms, I mean decoms, are just movies that are made from the same sluts they use in their shows. Nearly every slut in the channel sings. Even their Shake it Up channels are horrible!! Girls are pretty much copying every single thing they do on Disney Channel. This channel is aimed towards 7-12 year old girls. If you're a boy and you're over 20, shame on YOU. The only reason I watch Disney Channel is because of Phineas and Ferb. That show is awesome.
The bad part is that this channel is filthy rich, so it will stay up for a pretty damn long time.
by XCLAUSOX May 14, 2012
A channel for kids that consists of talentless actors and actresses making bad jokes and bursting into song, all while learning some sort of valuable lesson. Everyone watches it at some point, but nobody admits it.
The people who write definitions on Urban Dictionary for "Disney Channel" obviously watch it, they just don't want to admit it.
by somepersonsomewhere June 13, 2010