Skip to main content

goolie-clencher

(Or, "ball clencher", "cheek clencher", or just "clencher" for short)

A bad or painful result. Similar to having one's goolies put in a vice. Can also mean a bad or painful result for someone else.
Glen: What's up dude?
Sandeep: My God. I followed our analyst recommendation and bought Enron bonds. They've just filed for Chapter 11 and there's no bid for the shit. I've just lost $35,000,000.
Glen: Wow, that is a Class A goolie-clencher. Think you'd better find a headhunter.

Mark: How did the Quantum Mechanics exam go?
John: Terrible. Question 2, you had to derive the magnetic moment of the electron from scratch!
Mark: WHAT? What a ball-clencher! That takes hours!

Duncan: Was that snotty kid we saw last year bowling his shite?
Josh: Yeah, first two balls I smacked him for six, and then the next one I drove it back over his head for four missing his head by about 2 inches ...
Duncan: Clench!
by mp666 March 4, 2010
mugGet the goolie-clencher mug.

clench

when one squeezes their ass cheeks together.
person 1: why does your ass look so toned?
person 2: im clenching my cheeks together.
by olaf the pimp December 14, 2006
mugGet the clench mug.
Related Words

clenching

To hold a shit in for a long time, especially when it's not an appropriate time to take a dump.
I've been clenching ever since I got to work.
by superhog May 24, 2006
mugGet the clenching mug.

Clenched penis

Someone who is
a) irritating you
b) starting an argument
c) called marnie
Marnie: "I'm so dumb and stupid"
Bibs & Neve: " Yeah because you're a clenched penis"
by smellyboy101 June 22, 2016
mugGet the Clenched penis mug.

fanny clenching

When a women watches either a really scary film or a bit in a film which has a tense or climatic part to it, tends to clench her fanny together tight from excitment and nerves. The women may also squeeze her thighs tighly and also her asre cheeks too.
' Oh my god i couldnt keep still watching that film, it was so fanny clenching'
by Carina Crolla May 13, 2005
mugGet the fanny clenching mug.

Buckingham Clench

When you feel as if you are about to break wind and just as you begin to attempt to pass it, you feel a sudden moist feeling on the edge of your butt cheeks. At this point you come to realize this may not be what you first thought it was and not wanting to turn the back of your legs into a chocolate waterfall, You snap at attention. Immediately clenching your buttcheeks tightly together to avoid any spillage and keeping a firm rigid stance, like a Buckingham Guard. With a cold sweat beginning to form and the feeling of a sharp stabbing sensation in your lower abdomen, you must continue to stay in this position until the pain subsides and you can get to a toilet.
1. As I started to pass gas, I felt a moist sensation and immediately snapped into a Buckingham Clench.
2. As I snapped into a Buckingham Clench, it was quite obvious that this was no laughing matter and despite onlookers gawking and poking and prodding at me, I knew I could not unclench or I would soil myself.
3. Not wanting to crap my pants, I immediately bore the Buckingham Clench in an attempt to hold it all in.
by max nova July 3, 2009
mugGet the Buckingham Clench mug.

fart clencher

The act of building up intestinal gas and then creating a small passage between butt cheeks and realeasing the built up gases to create a very powerful and loud fart.
I released an incredibly powerful fart clencher in Brooks face.
by Keatswords June 23, 2014
mugGet the fart clencher mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email