Corporate Flagellate

When corporations - in an attempt to sell more shit - call out their own sins in front of the world and what they're doing to make it better - when, in reality, they're just trying to sell more shit

Brandon: Yo Ron, you see that new Burger King commercial with the farting cows?
Ron: Yeah man, the message was wack but the song was crack.
Brandon: Man, Burger King is such a corporate flagellate

by The Pole22 August 6, 2020

Corporate Cunt

An abhorrent individual who panders to every single desire of a corporation, or multiple corporations. The corporate cunt is most typically seen slaving away gleefully under the employment of said corporation(s); Merrily dancing the capitalist dance whilst their paymaster dictates their every move, like a pathetic little puppet. They derive great joy from their puppetry, much to the disgust of the non/less-delusional folks, who are all too aware of their depressing, degrading, soul-sapping plight as corporate puppets, and have the misfortune of coming into contact with them. As a result of this joyful stimulation, the corporate cunt dedicates their life to advancing their puppetry status in the form of 'promotions', and can therefore usually be found in - or working towards - management positions within the corporation.

The corporate cunt can be seen in many forms, although usually the individual can be seen prancing around in a boring suit, or perhaps a cheap, pitiful looking uniform if they are lower down the 'career ladder'. They can be either male or female, and of any race. Originality is frowned upon, and therefore their personal grooming styles are very much 'middle of the road', to an eye-gougingly mundane extent.

Devoid of charisma, compassion, and decency, the corporate cunt plays everything 'by the book,' for they have been brainwashed extensively in order to perform their role as effectively as possible.

Man 1: "Fucksake man, I was three minutes late 'cause of the traffic and Paul's gone and given me a written warning!"

Man 2: "What a joke! I tell ya - that guy is an A-grade Corporate Cunt if ever I saw one; Fucking jobsworth - He lives and breaths his job. I despise him, with every single facet of my being"

Man 1: "Spot-on my friend, spot-on - he's doesn't realise that he's just another drone, rearranging the deck-chairs on the sinking ship of life"

by Bob Clancey September 23, 2013

corporate hyena

An employee whose aim is to climb up the corporate ladder by any means other than merit, including backstabbing, ass-licking, being a yes man, drastically changing opinion to suit circumstances, gossiping, bitching, corridor-talking, spreading lies, pitting colleagues against each other, spying and reporting on colleagues, etc.

Jack always sucks-up to his boss no matter what stupid ideas his boss comes up with, hoping to have an increase, what a corporate hyena!

Tom reports colleagues on any triviality so as to show he really cares for the company, hoping he will be the one to be promoted, what a corporate hyena!

by salis010 November 26, 2015

corporate owned

a term used to describe politicians (primarily Republicans) who accept campaign contributions from big corporations and then serve those corporations instead of the people

Corporate owned politicians typically oppose any efforts to regulate or tax business, they are against labor unions, and support unfair trade policies that make it easier for big corporations to move jobs overseas to exploit cheap labor in third world countries.

by Mr.Juan-derful May 2, 2010

corporate month

An annual month-long fundraising campaign taking place in June wherein the wealthiest corporations protect themselves with rainbow camouflage.

Financial Advisor: Sir, we're down in funds this quarter. What are we going to do?
CEO: We'll be fine. Corporate month is right around the corner.

by bin laden's anus April 17, 2023

Corporate Backscratching

When corporations use their multiple media outlets to cross promote.

When Tom Cruise goes on Jay Leno to promote his new movie getting released by Universal Studios which is owned by the same company, GE, that owns NBC. That's Corporate Backscratching my friends!

by icwish June 17, 2009

corporate pop

A kind of background music (BGM) played in supermarkets, shopping malls, factories, or some offices.

It's the end of the workday, and the traffic's very bad, so getting to the store takes way longer than it should, and when you finally get there the supermarket is very crowded, because of course it's the time of day when all the other people with jobs also try to squeeze in some grocery shopping, and the store's hideously, fluorescently lit, and infused with soul-killing Muzak or corporate pop, and it's pretty much the last place you want to be, but you can't just get in and quickly out. -- This is water. David Foster Wallace.

by chuckchen June 17, 2018