carpet custard

the semi-dry gelatinous goo found on the floor by your other half's PC, usually amongst the crumpled tissues.

wtf's all that carpet custard doing there? I just cleaned this fucking floor you wanker!

by UKP August 21, 2010

carpet snorter

Slang term for a cocaine addict who has dropped their blow onto the carpet.

I have hung out with many a carpet snorter in my day.

by Dr Bunnygirl July 6, 2020

F Carpet Bomb

Like f-bomb, this is a euphemism for saying "fuck" but with added the twist of drawing the word out in length.

Guy #1: What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!
Guy #2: Nice f carpet bomb.

by ookami80 March 7, 2009

Cum Carpet

A female's jizz-covered pubis mons, unshaved.

I blasted a hot load on Brittany's cum carpet last week!

by JungleVIP August 20, 2013

Greasy Carpet

A middle aged man's anus that hasn't been wiped or cleaned in a decade.

Stanley wiped his greasy carpet on Noelle yesterday.

by The Gay Mankini November 21, 2018

tragic carpet

when someone’s (usually a female’s) carpet is not shaved to the point of full bush or shaven very poorly

When I went down on her, her tragic carpet turned me gay and made me miss the homies.

by CEO of BDE June 8, 2020

carpet pilot

An Arab who flies on a magical carpet.

see towlhead

Saffiyah clapped her hands and twenty flying men appeared at her side, each well trained in the art of combat.

by Lurido February 1, 2005