Cognitive dysentery

The condition of being so bounded by one's beliefs that one ends up with shit for brains.

Yesterday's Supreme Court decision, which supported the idea that religion is more important than a woman's health, is clearly a case of cognitive dysentery

by Pablo DiAblo July 1, 2014

Cognitive psychology exam

A subsystem of the 9/11 conspiracy, most likely founded by the jews.

Made solely to fuck with students, in the worst way.

May have been involved with holoknaust.

"why are you so sad?"
"I just had a Cognitive Psychology exam and it came inside like storm of a hundred men"
"FeelsBadMan"

by TheDoodeoftheNorth May 19, 2016

cognitive neuroscience

A subset of neuroscience that is "totally necessary" because "just because you can't quantify it doesn't mean it's not there." The cognitive neuroscience professors will defend the validity of cognition with their lives, and fight the neuroscience department for their honor.

"I'm in the cognitive neuroscience lab"
"..is that a wet lab?"
"No"
"Well then it's not a lab"

by brrrrrruh69 May 7, 2018

Cognitive Black Hole

Whenever someone takes a dogmatic position that only leads into a confined recursive feedback loop of confirmation bias, thus further reinforcing that given belief and making it impossible to escape.

Kanye West - "Jewish people control the media and the entertainment industry."
*gets cancelled for antisemitic remarks*
Kanye West - "See!?..."
dude - "damn, Kanye fell into a cognitive black hole."

by cutza November 3, 2022

cognitive function

Brain power

"I got in a car wreck. Now I'm a vegetable."

"How are you typing? "

"Cognitive Function Bitch"

by Dick ThunderSword May 11, 2015

Cognitive Dissonance

Internally repealing old beliefs and past experiences and replacing them with new information that contradicts the original to conform with internal belief structures.

Example: Democrats

Joe Biden saying if the President had done his job, no one would have died from Covid-19, then declaring "there is nothing we can do to change the trajectory of the pandemic in the next several months" is an extreme case of Cognitive Dissonance.

by 7Slinger January 26, 2021

cognitive dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance States that contradicting cognitions serve as a driving force that compels the mind to acquire or invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to reduce the amount of dissonance (conflict) between cognitions.

You do a boring job, but is paid $30/hour, so you say that is a nice and interesting job....'well, it is not cognitive dissonance, I think is a great new job!!'

You are deciding about two movies, your girlfriend wants to see the most boring one so after the cinema, you think it was a good movie and cool after all.

by David Mendoza November 9, 2006