bedtime inkjet

When you're having a quiet wank next to your partner at bedtime, usually after they've rejected you, and just as you're about to cum you roll over and jizz over them instead

I gave Jesse a bedtime inkjet last night, after she said she had a headache and wasn't in the mood

by InkjetInventor June 11, 2018

Bedtime Roulette

Fill a bottle with a mixture of Xanax, morphine, and laxative pills. Give it a good shake, then pour out 3 pills. Wash them down with a glass of whiskey, then try to take a dump and whack-off before you pass out and shit yourself.

Work has sucked lately. I think it's time for another round of Bedtime Roulette.

by Merkin Wrangler February 21, 2021

Bedtime baghdad

To ejaculate in to someone else's bed and make it up again so it's not noticed.

I'm away to Bedtime Baghdad the polish cunts bed cause he'll not see it for 2 days

by Drunkies March 20, 2021

bedtime vape

bedtime vape - is when you always, ALWAYS get the urge that you need hit your vape before you go to sleep.

hey chad, can you hand me my vape so i can hit it to do my bedtime vape sesh i need it to go to sleep bruh, i got to have it.

by amoneydollasign October 30, 2023

Bedtime Babies

Slang for stains on the bedsheet. Implies that the owner of said bedsheets has masturbated while in bed.

I found bedtime babies in my roommates bed!!

by UNHEuphkid April 4, 2004

Bedtime Story

The act of pulling out the porn just before sleeping and having a wank before passing out asleep. A common practice amongst teenage boys, as well as self-proclaimed celibates.

Man - "So what did you get up to last night ?"

Colleague - "Not much, just watched tv and read myself a bedtime story"

by Ngoc8r February 12, 2007

bedtime bellow

Farting under the blankets, then using one leg to create a bed-sized bellow to transfer the stink to your bed-mate.

I knew my gas was bad so, despite the colateral damage, I gave my girl a bedtime bellow.

by 12345678910111213 March 24, 2008