Bakersfield

The most horrible place on this god forsaken planet

Person 1: So where are you from?
Person 2: Oh i'm from Bakersfield
Person 1: Oh hell nah fuck that place

by Fl0rb November 18, 2019

Bakersfield

9 months of heat. 6 months extremely hot temperatures. Indefinite road work everywhere. Some good restaurants. If you get on the populace's bad side, they'll be aggravating. If not, then they'll still be aggravating. Some parts of town are dangerous with gang activity. Downtown is a homeless person's hub. Several homeless shelters. Horrible pollution, including light pollution. Most days, UV rays are hazardous. Some good parks and trails, but you better not have severe asthma. Or go to a hospital because the nurses are mostly snide and lying. The school system is terrible. There used to be a lot of racing. I live by 99. The police must've cracked down on them. Or they decided to race elsewhere. There is a racing dirt track. There is a mall which is usually packed full of people so you could get pickpocketed. Some people look for fights. Most are punks. Always carry a knife for protection. There is a high crime rate. Deputy's corrupt. Police, maybe in most cases. The people will bother you when you're minding your own business. They act friendly, but they really aren't kind. Sometimes they're blatant in their rudeness. There are dispensaries. Therr are plenty of liquor stores. It's hard to get a good doctor. The main sectors of employment are in oil and ag. Home to KoRn and various country artists. And finally, the people try to get you in trouble most of the time. Sometimes they help though.

Man, when isn't it got in Bakersfield.
Like two months

by UnK0wnr3s1D3nt July 30, 2021

Bakersfield Picnic

The act of eating your lunch while taking a crap.

Guy 1: "you coming to lunch with us at Chilies?"
Guy 2: "no, I gotta take a dump. I'm just gonna have a Bakersfield Picnic."

by P. Gunn October 2, 2013

Bakersfield Special

During anal sex when the receiving person is not clean and shits on the penetrating person’s penis.

When the penetrating person’s penis is caked or covered in shit after fucking a dirty hole.

Manuel: “How did your Grindr hookup go?”
Louis: “It started well but after 10 minutes or so, he gave me a Bakersfield Special. We needed to stop because there was shit everywhere.”
Manuel: “gross”

Louis “Did you douche before your hookup?”
Manuel: “Of course I did. I don’t want to give anyone a Bakersfield Special.”

by TheBlackPearl March 27, 2022

bakersfield chalupa

similar to a cleveland steamer, except the person pooping has to have a lot of corn in their stool.

nick "the dirty dick" gave jen a bakersfield chalupa on her face. as she gasped for air, all jen could say was, "mmm...i love hot corn".

by t-bags mcgillan November 26, 2006

Bakersfield chimp

verb. Popularized by The Phil Hendrie Show. The act of ripping someone a new one (or removing an old one) as in the incident where two chimps got loose from their cage at a Bakersfield CA chimp sanctuary and severely attacked a man in front of his wife while visiting an their old pet chimp on his birthday.

If this line doesn't get moving faster, I'm going to go Bakersfield chimp on that grocery clerk.

by smackie August 30, 2005

Bakersfield Gangs (Updated)

Current active gangs in Bakersfield, California.

Crips:

· East Side Crips (ESC)

· Spoonie G Crips

· Stroller Boy Crips

· Mid City Crips

· Lakeview Gangsta Crips

· Project Crips

· Clifton Mob Crips

· West Side Crips

· West Side Family Crips

· West Side Gangsta Crips

· 6th Street Crips

· Country Boy Crips (SSC/CBC)

· Watts & Lotus Blocc Crips

· Melwood Blocc Crips

· Bradshaw Hustler Gang

· Mad Blocc Crips

· Reece & Cheetam Blocc (RC Blocc)

· Cottonwood Crips

Bloods/Pirus:

· East Side Bloods

· Nine Trae Bloods (DBG93) (Inactive)

· Bounty Hunta Bloods (Inactive)

· West Side Bloods

· West Side Warlords Piru (Inactive)

Surenos:

· East Side Sureno Sets

· East Side Bakers 13

· Loma Bakers 13

· Lomita 13

· Los Pobres 13 (Inactive)

· Colonia Bakers 13

· Varrio Bakers 13

· Bakers Sur Trece Gang 13

· West Side Sureno Sets

· West Side Bakers 13

· South Side Sureno Sers

· South Side Bakers 13

· Lil Locos (SSBKS) 13

· Southgate Locos (SSBKS) 13

· Greenfield Bakers 13

· North Side/Uptown Sureno Sets

· Uptown Bakers 13

White Supremacists:

· Oildale Peckerwoods

· Nazi Lowriders

Independent Gangs (No allignment to prison gangs):

· Trilla Gang

· TK-1

· MCK

Prison Gangs:

· Mexican Mafia (La Eme)

· Black Gorilla Family

· Aryan Brotherhood

· Dead Man Inc.

Yo man this dude just posted Bakersfield Gangs (Updated)

by 661goonx October 16, 2019