Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016
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St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, Mardi Gras. Those days that seem to, at least for college students, exist solely for the purpose of getting shit-faced drunk, with rituals often beginning as early as morning and continuing throughout the day.
Bob: Dude! I'm so drunk right now. We started drinking every time we see spongebob squarepants, and they are running a Halloween Marathon.
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!
by Matthew Lake November 20, 2007
Get the alcoholidays mug.(n.) What your mother was probably drinking during her pregnancy that caused you to be unable to spell “alcohol”.
“Ma’am, you’re pregnant, please lay off the alcohol.”
“My body, my choice.”
*Fourteen years later the child finds urban dictionary*
“A - L - C… uhhhh… A - H - O - L. Yeah. Alcahol”
“My body, my choice.”
*Fourteen years later the child finds urban dictionary*
“A - L - C… uhhhh… A - H - O - L. Yeah. Alcahol”
by BigGreasyCumstain July 2, 2021
Get the Alcahol mug.by Teo Cherub July 15, 2009
Get the alcoholic mug.A fetus who's parent is an alcoholic and will most likely be born with problems and become and alcoholic.
by alcoholicfetus July 14, 2009
Get the alcoholicfetus mug.by Mmmmmmmoooooooo December 8, 2019
Get the Apologetic Alcoholic mug.