Self-Absorbed Sodomizer

Someone who tapes a mirror to the back of their partner's head during anal sex.

That jerk couldn't find any other way to get going so he strapped a mirror to my head, he's such a self-absorbed sodomizer!

by itsthatbradguy July 11, 2010

self-absorbed

A condition where there are two possiblities. you have either simple haughtiness and arrogance, the more commonly implied meaning. however there are those who have an equally obnoxious affect, but which comes not from pride, rather their constant exclusive occupation with their own feelings. Theirs is not the slight narcissism of the former, rather one who has a graduated notion of the sanctity of their own emotions.

Every time I open my mouth, the guy cringes at some perceived insult or lack of regard for his notion of social delicacy. I find when he finally opens his mouth that he is not totally without compassion, but just that his compassion extends mostly to himself, that he is self-absorbed, and frankly, wretched.

by hfontana July 27, 2016

Absorbent Taco

Occurring only to females, the act of having a maxi pad, tampon, or any period absorbing product fold inside the vagina with a small portion of the ends sticking out.

This is the last time I use maxi pad; I literally sit down in my chair, and what happens? It slides up into an Absorbent Taco.

by MyDadHitsMe October 24, 2017

Cock Absorber

A girl that is rather ‘sluttish’ and has sex with strangers often. Also known as a thot or slag.

Ellie: OMG Maisie had sex for the 7th time today!?
Lily: what the fuck?? She’s such a cock absorber

by Maisies Biggest fan March 26, 2019

shark absorber

Devices used to absorb the Flow during shark week. Tampons.

Her: I need to stop at the pharmacy, it's shark week.
Me: Ahh, you're out of shark absorbers?

by geekJoeB August 20, 2019

culture absorber

A person or group that literally absorb someone else’s culture as their own and act as if it’s theirs. They are not just a Weeaboo or a Koreaaboo. They do it with everything.. e.g. A European visits an Asian country and becomes fascinated with their culture. When back in their country they start acting like the people of that country they visited e.g. Korea, even speaking broken versions of the language in an attempt to be the same as them. They even throw in a random foreign word into the middle of a sentence. They will especially do this around their friends and family and try to get them to act the same as them..

Mike: Hey Tom how are you today.
Tom: Fine how about you Tom.
Mike: I’m daebak..
Tom: You’re wha—
Mike: Wanna grab some ramyeon!!
Tom: You don’t even like ram—
Mike I’ll take that as a yes....
*Proceeds to take out two wooden sticks and act as if they are chopsticks*
Tom: Ah so you’re a culture absorber...

by s-0-z December 18, 2020

Human Shock Absorber

One who is repetitively kicked in the stomach with subsequent gut-wrenching anxiety while remaining upright and wearing a fake smile. AKA: the college years.

My friends were amazed that I survived the human shock absorber years and earned a friggin’ piece of paper. Not even parchment. Yay for me.

by Dr Isaac September 12, 2018