Jesus

Some rotten corpse of a guy that was nailed to a plank for trying to stand up to some bullies

“Hey whatever happened to Jesus?”
“He died.”

by Anonymous#4018 March 30, 2024

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Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024

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Jesus Goodbye

When someone announces their departure from a social gathering, disappears for a while, and then unexpectedly returns, much like Jesus' resurrection.

Tom executed the ultimate Jesus goodbye at the dinner party, informing everyone he was heading home, only to reappear an hour later with a fresh round of drinks

by SausageTunnel March 31, 2024

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After defecating, when one goes to wipe with toilet paper and discovers there is no feces to clean. Of all his numerous amazing feats & miracles, we can assume wipe-less bathroom sessions was among them. This act can also be called a "Holy Shit".

Wow, I just took the most amazing "Jesus Shit". What a way to start the day!

by MLS17 January 15, 2026

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halo jesus bud

The stuff ICE imbibes before duty booty kill

Hey, what kind of bud does ICE get blessed with before scamming in the name of Noem
No, what? is it a breast or ponytail thing?
She thinks so, but they smoke it.
Wow, not the halo jesus bud?
Yeah, tis grown in South Dakota

by Orangeprostate January 24, 2026

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Jesus nut

The critical bolt or nut in a helicopter that holds the main rotor in place. If it fails or detaches mid-flight, the copter comes crashing down very fast and everyone inside goes straight to Jesus!

Co-pilot: Looks like the Jesus nut YEETED mid-flight! You know what's going to happen NOW!

Everyone inside the helicopter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*goes straight to Jesus*

by EF2020 February 2, 2026

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