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Jesus

This man right here is the most loving God that never leaves you even you have many problems and he cares to you even you don't believe in him he still loves you so if you no ones loves you think about Jesus that loves you forever.
by Hydedas February 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever
"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein
by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Sperm Theorymug.

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
mugGet the Satanic Jesusmug.

Jesus jazz

Christian rock performed in a megachurch (often by dudes whose 80's hair bands didn't make it big).
She's all into Jesus jazz and bible study.
by whittlesshittlestendervittles December 30, 2012
mugGet the Jesus jazzmug.

Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a
by urfavhater November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Hernandez Cmug.

Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023
mugGet the Jesus cablemug.

Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Syndromemug.

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