jumping jack jesus

An attempt to jump SF to Alcatraz on a ramp built for Pastrana to do using only Element 115.

Bird_ This is the shit Lazar sent me.
Pastrana_ Good????..
Bird_ It's OK.

SNOOP DOG_ shit GaryMike...
li da jumping jack jesus
Pastrana_ What about GARYMIKE???
Craig_ yep. go get em Tiger.
Aaron. I love you Garymike.

by craigbird1968 January 28, 2021

Jesus

Someone I couldn't give a f*ck abt-

I literally don't care abt Jesus, I mean live ya life but...bruh-

by SomeRandomPersonDuh October 26, 2021

jesus juarez

Fat shit who doesn't do there homework and watches tik tok during his class and smells like are pit. And also doesn't brush there teeth

"Did you go to jesus Juarez' house" "yah" "how did you survive" "I just was holding my breath " "dam I got to try that"

by Not skinny kid November 1, 2020

Jesus

Our lord and savior

romans 10:9 says “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

by nword February 13, 2021

Jesus christ

Someone who is alive and almighty who forgives you for your sins someone who is very reliable . The person to look past your past and show true love .

I was at at church and pastor said that Jesus Christ is the one who died for our sins . And arouse again 3 days later, that doesn't make since . U can't die and rise again you are a zombie .. No actually if you read your bible you'll actually see that he was destined before time to do this . So much that satin put in the kings head during that time to kill all the first borns. Jesus destiny still lived on bc god may the way for Mary and Joseph to hide and be protected . Before he died they beat him so much bc they thought he was a joke saying he's the son of god. All the blood is an an expression of forgiveness for your sins that Jesus takes the punishment for. They also made him carry the cross that he died on to say in the walk with christ you'll will have to pick up your own cross and keep walking . It's only for the strong ones who can't take a beating and keep stepping forward. Not really picking up a cross just pick up your emotional burden or physical burden and keep moving.

by RomansEmpirekilledjesus March 23, 2023

Oh lord jesus

When someone does something dumb out of no where.
When someone looks dumb.
When something happens unexpectedly.

Jocelyn: "hey, did you see ally's makeup today?"
Arlette: "no why?"
*arlette sees ally's horrifying make up*

Arlette: "oh lord Jesus"

by issasneak August 10, 2017

Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever

"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein

by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023