Monkey Jesus

Mooooooooonnnnnkaaaaaay jeeeeeesssssuuuuuusssss!! 🎶

“Jesus monkey Christ on a stick!” — When frightened

We made a song but forgot…

Monkey Jesus is used In English when your bored

by Clarius and Darius December 10, 2023

Jesus

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

jesus it

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.

John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"

by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017

jesus stick

a vape

Hey Bobbie, can I see your Jesus stick for a sec?

by cattle graze April 6, 2019

Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever

"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein

by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023

Oh lord jesus

When someone does something dumb out of no where.
When someone looks dumb.
When something happens unexpectedly.

Jocelyn: "hey, did you see ally's makeup today?"
Arlette: "no why?"
*arlette sees ally's horrifying make up*

Arlette: "oh lord Jesus"

by issasneak August 10, 2017

Jesus

This man right here is the most loving God that never leaves you even you have many problems and he cares to you even you don't believe in him he still loves you so if you no ones loves you think about Jesus that loves you forever.

Jesus will never leave me.

by Hydedas February 5, 2022