Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a
by urfavhater November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Hernandez Cmug.

Jesus loves you

A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.

I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).
-Hi, how has your day been
-Not very good
-Oh, I hope it gets better, Jesus loves you.
-Thank you
by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus loves youmug.

Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?
Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.
by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

"Jesus is in the new Matrix movie"
by PotRoastLover21 December 19, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Syndromemug.

Jesus jazz

Christian rock performed in a megachurch (often by dudes whose 80's hair bands didn't make it big).
She's all into Jesus jazz and bible study.
by whittlesshittlestendervittles December 30, 2012
mugGet the Jesus jazzmug.

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
mugGet the Satanic Jesusmug.

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