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Nick Jesus

That dude is Nick Jesus! He’s such a docuhebag!
by Dhehhdhd March 31, 2019
mugGet the Nick Jesusmug.

harvie lim de jesus

He is the person that is always kind and caring for other even though has no empathy.
Timothy: Bro that "Harvie Lim De Jesus" over there is crazy at making them laugh
by anonymous April 25, 2023
mugGet the harvie lim de jesusmug.

Jesus

A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!

Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!

Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?

Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!

Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Jesus is a dumbass he likes Rylie but won’t admit it he has orange hair and looks like ginger overall he is in love with Rylie
Jesus likes Rylie
by I do t know November 24, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Piece

A man’s genitals, specifically the shaft
Girl throw throw those yams on my Jesus piece
by Jahnutz August 3, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Piecemug.

jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.
After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.
by jpeg1024 April 5, 2015
mugGet the jesus napmug.

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