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Jesus Christ

honestly the coolest guy i know

these weird athiest fuckers piss me off in the definitions
by me lolita September 3, 2025
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God/Jesus

Jesus and God are the same but Jesus is God's son.
God/Jesus is our Lord and Savior that died on the cross for our sins. God is the father, son, and the holy spirit.
by Ilove_jesus June 9, 2023
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Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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Jesus

The Saviour of the World

Trust in Him!!
Jesus loves me this I know

For the Bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong

YEEEEES Jesus loves MEEE!
Yesssss Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves MEE!

The Bible tells me soo
by legoman67 October 1, 2025
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

I'm not COMPARING myself to Jesus. I figured out WHY Jesus. This is just what you do to people.
Hym "Amd you don't want me to submit to Jesus. You want me to submit to you by proxy. Jesus isn't here and even if he came back today I wouldn't submit to him. AND! AND... If he is real... He can't even do anything about it because I'm immortal."
by Hym Iam March 2, 2025
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Meat Jesus

He is the one true God. He is Ron fucking Swanson.
Meat Jesus is better than RJ the Hedge God.
by Ron Swanson is Meat Jesus September 24, 2017
mugGet the Meat Jesusmug.

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