utility wank

Masturbation, not initiated out of sexual arousal, but to achieve a goal, like relieving pressure or to become tired.

I couldn't sleep, so I utility wanked.

I wasn't even horny, it was just a utility wank so I could go to sleep.

by Germaggeddon January 9, 2013

Fatty wank

Artwork or photographs of BBW or SSBBW that men will jerk off to. A phrase coined by an artist called Krampuskind.

John went down to the pr0n shop to buy some fatty wank.

by Lupine the 3rd January 24, 2012

Bradworthy Wank

The act of masturbating in your living room while trying to get caught by the Google Street View car.

As soon as I saw the car coming round the corner by the Bradworthy Inn, I ran home, flopped it out and start it furiously Bashing the Bishop, in the hopes that the image of me choking my chicken would live forever on Google Street View.

Best Bradworthy Wank I ever had.

by EducatedBumpkin March 26, 2022

Wank Warrior

A Professional wanker, one who claims to be a master or warrior of wanking,

"All Tom from myspace does all day is masturbate, he must be a Wank Warrior."

by ColbyA.K.A.C-Pimpin December 13, 2008

wank wallow

That feeling you get once you've finished a filthy wank. When you are lying in bed, jizz everywhere, and you can see a mans balls bouncing around your laptop screen. The lowest feeling of all.

had the biggest wank wallow this morning, everything was great until that moment just after i came. Grim

by seanysean23 January 30, 2015

armitage wanks

going for a wank in the toilet,

you were in there a long time, were you having an armitage wanks

by jaffaw July 16, 2009

Not Worth a Wank

To describe a situation or occasion beneath ones-self, comparable to being beneath ones lowest level of masturbation.

An act that does not live up to expectation

John: Hey bill, have you seen that new horror movie, ya know the one that's really sick?

Bill: Yeah Ive seen it and trust me its 'not worth a wank'

by Myerpheus April 12, 2012