ass manage

A person or behavior that brings the concept of micro manage to its logical culmination, that is, one who subjects complete and total anal domination over someone's ass or a collective group of asses.

colloquial
What a pimp does.

THOMAS: "My retardistic boss said that not only did I forget to properly format my TPS report, but I also used the stapler incorrectly in attaching it to the memo and should begin using Rogaine to 'offset the onset of premature balding'."
RICHARD: "Wow. It sounds like you're getting ass managed."
HARRISON: "Yes, this guy is definitely an ass manager."

I have to ass manage these hoes on 21st and Lewis.

by Danfield August 15, 2006

Facebook Friend Faction Management

The phrase to describe a situation where you have a large number of facebook 'friends,' some of whom know things about you that they could post that you do not want other friends to know about.

This is a situation best managed by having the correct privacy settings, deleting some of your friends off Facebook and not initiating any posts yourself, thereby preventing a situation where a friend reveals a fact about you that you do not wish someone else knowing about.

Oh sh*t! The surprise party for Fiona will be no surprise if i dont delete that post I made with the comment from Dave about bringing the drinks on Thursday! Time for some Facebook Friend Faction Management!

by mids99 April 4, 2010

apartment manager

the lowest form of life known to mankind, someone who couldnt make it at a real job..this is the only way they can keep a roof over their head. a person whose only job qualification is: not misspelling their name more than 3 times on the application

apartment managers are chodes!!!

by douglas epley November 26, 2006

manage

man, boy, feen, fiend
to be used when addressing a fellow.

aw manage, thats marvellous news outta you there like!

by julio madras tenoch del toro August 30, 2007

Management 100

Leadership and Communication in Groups. An introductory, undergraduate experience at the Wharton School of Business/University of Pennsylvania, designed to make students aware of their leadership potential through experiential learning. Students are engaged through lectures, recitations, groups, and projects.

"Management 100: I Live for This" - Dr. G

by Joseph Wharton April 21, 2006

manage-a-blah

Pronounced 'manage-a-trois', manage-a-blah is useless or ridiculous phrases used to explain an idea when simple, rational language could have been used instead. Manage-a-blah is not to be confused with managerspeak, but is closely related. Whereas managerspeak is typically complete bullshit, manage-a-blah is usually translated into something meaningful. It should be noted the best translators of manage-a-blah are often the most cynical and lazy employees (or simply put, the ones that have been there the longest). It should also be noted that manage-a-blah can qualify for management bingo.

Boss: Hey folks, we're not trying to boil the ocean here.
Bill (to Fred): What the fuck did the boss just say?
Fred: Oh, the boss means "let's not try to solve all the problems at once". It's just the boss's usual manage-a-blah.

Boss: Well let's run that up the flag pole and see who salutes it.
Bill (to Fred): Holy shit, I think the boss just did it again. What the fuck was that?
Fred: The boss would like to see what other people think of his/her thought-lacking, crappy idea. Yet another case of manage-a-blah.

by out_for_a_wile August 20, 2009

Management Drone

A facsimile of a manager who mindlessly follows orders from upper management regardless of how ridiculous, arbitrary, contradictory, or counterproductive they may be. If an employee attempts to point out the flaws in one of an MD’s painfully short-sighted and dim-witted decisions, an MD will either continuously repeat one of their several pre-programmed phrases until the employee gives up on the argument, or they will respond with only a blank stare that seems to say “error, file not found.” To say that a MD is a puppet is to insult the freethinking and decision-making abilities of a puppet. MD's have absolutely no job-related skills or people skills. They are often seen wandering aimlessly among employees and customers. If asked for help, they will automatically find the nearest employee and make them help the customer so as to appear preoccupied and attempt to conceal their monumental incompetence. Many times MD's will turn to employees for help with things that should in fact be required of management to know. They will also sometimes steal ideas of employees and make them their own usually after telling the employees the ideas were not feasible. They are the source of all miscommunication, stress, failures, and negativity in the workplace, yet are never fired. MD's can be found in nearly every major corporation and, like roaches, will probably never be totally eradicated. Not to be confused with actual (good) managers.

MD: Hey, why isn't Bill here?
Employee: Why are you asking me? Didn't you make the schedule? If he called in it's not like he'd talk to me, he'd have to talk to you.
MD: But, where is he?
Employee: I don't know! Anyway it doesn't matter, he's not here.
MD: But he should be, shouldn't he?
Employee: I give up.

MD: We're going to put labels on the items we're selling near this display.
Employee: Hey, I had that idea a month ago. You told me it would look tacky.
MD: *blank stare*

MD: I need you to stay late because we're getting busy. You have to take a long lunch though so you don't get any overtime.
Employee: I wouldn't have to do that if you'd let me go early when we're not busy instead of giving me a bunch of meaningless busy work.
MD: Yeah... well we need you to stay late because we're busy. You have to take--
Employee: SHUT UP! You're the reason people get shot at work by disgruntled employees.

Employee 1: There goes Pete, isn't he a manager?
Employee 2: No, he's just a management drone. Get Sherri, she's an actual manager.

by MastaRoe March 21, 2011