corporate america voice

The voice that you use with customers/clients in the workplace. It's always amicable, with heavy use of upward inflections. The term was coined by Donnell Rawlings in his comedy act "From Ashy to Classy".

Say you work at a pizza place, and you're pissed off. Then a customer calls. Despite your anger, you will talk to that customer with an upward inflection, kiss their ass, and be almost overly friendly. The call ends. You've just utilized your corporate america voice. You can now go back to being grouchy, saying mean things about the customers who deserve it, and swearing profusely.

by R. Cal May 21, 2012

corporate speed

Term used to label the slower than desireable decision making process, or most any process for that matter, that is present in many companies and corporations.

This process is moving at corporate speed

by Thriving July 29, 2013

Corporate Aikido

Corporate Aikido is the art of redirecting people who need help, instead of saying no, so you can get back to Minesweeper or, these days, Reddit. You use their energy against them, sending them off to accounting, answering their questions with a request for more information, etc. Corporate Aikido techniques and throws are best practiced in conference calls and meetings, where the unskilled opponent will appear to all to be combative and aggressive if he or she shows the slightest resistance to the Corporate Aikido movements.

How to use Corporate Aikido, by designbydave: "Yes, I am almost 100% sure what is wrong with your laptop, but I want you to go back and get more information for me, retrieve the appropriate power cables, software install discs etc so I don't have to work on it right this second, I'm currently reading a fascinating, 10 page article about a feral child that I found on reddit."

by knumbknuts September 6, 2013

Corporatee

One who is an employee or a low level statues within the ranks of a Corporation.

Mike is a Corporatee with IBM as a janitor.

by Baron Neville May 15, 2016

corporate imperialism

It is the business take-over of big rich countries over small poorer countries.

The USA corporate imperialism of greedy business in small countries has weaken the smaller poorer countries of Latin America, Africa, and Southern Asia. This must be stopped!!

by The Great Distracto May 1, 2017

Corporate Tool

One who exists for the benefit of a corporate entity at the expense of society as a whole. A pawn who exists to serve said corporate entity above his fellow man. Loathed by virtually all.

The FCC chair Ajit Pai is the literal definition of a corporate tool.

by humanwoman December 15, 2017

corporate toxicity syndrome

Corporate Toxicity Syndrome (CTS), is a syndrome created by chronic exposure or ingestion of corporate products, including pharmaceuticals, foods with low or no nutritional value (soda, ice cream, pizza and burgers for example), fluoridated water, street drugs and alcoholic beverages, combined with the absence of nutrition via nutritional foods, vitamins & minerals. Presents as one who is obese, high blood pressure, trouble sleeping, musculoskeletal disorders, trouble thinking & various other health issues.

In looking at the consumers that frequent Wal-Mart, especially "The People of Walmart" shown on the entertainment web site, one can plainly see that this group suffers from Corporate Toxicity Syndrome, or CTS. They are fat, sick, and nearly dead.

by Greg M. Houck May 29, 2018