monkey function

The non-offensive way of saying 'mother fucker.'

Jeeves, you monkey function! The Presidents wife is supposed to be in Switzerland! SWITZERLAND!

by Bastardized Bottomburp August 23, 2003

Underground Monkey

A positional variation of The Monkey in the Kamasutra where the standard positions are reversed. The female is normally on the bottom, but it's also a term used when two males perform The Monkey

They were totally doing the Underground Monkey after the party.

by Monkey42 May 28, 2012

Monkey fuckhouse

Akin to the alligator fuckhouse, but instead of initiating a death roll on your partner, you get your feet under you in a low squatting position and hop up and down while beating your chest and screeching like a wild monkey, all while maintaining insertion. Can be performed doggy or missionary, but preferably missionary at the point of climax so there's a chance your cock will pop out and ejaculate on your partner's stomach while you act like a monkey. This way they won't miss the performance.

Alli: Tim did the strangest thing in bed last night.
Donna: What?
Alli: He started jumping up and down and acting like a monkey while he fucked me. He jerked off on me while he did it too.
Donna: What did you do?
Alli: Nothing. I was speechless the rest of the night. I heard him on the phone the next day telling his buddy Jeff that he pulled off a 'monkey fuckhouse.'

by jollyjo December 27, 2011

Tickling the monkey

scratching her bush like a gorilla, in order to make her aroused and soaking wet

Rhodri davies asked zoe curnow wether he could tickle her monkey
she said ' go for it big boy' whilst tickling the monkey for several seconds and unfortunatley he was more aroused than her and came prematurely after 10 seconds

by sarahburnettlovescock March 12, 2011

The Paranoid Monkeys

Underground progressive rock band from Fife, Scotland. The Paranoid Monkeys are sincerely intense, compelling and original soundsmith's of THOUGHTFUL sonically grooving material, i.e. material that makes you THINK AND GROOVE! (Rare as rocking horse sh*t.) Politically astute, universally aware, socially super-conscious and ultimately spellbinding. If all you want is three chords and dumb entertainment, then they probably aren't for you. But if you actually love 'listening' to music, they probably are.

Listen to The Paranoid Monkeys here-

reverbnation.com/theparanoidmonkeys

by Satans nipple October 11, 2011

Arctic Monkeys

The best band to ever grace my mortal ears.

Me: I love Arctic Monkeys!!!!

by Myth4everr April 20, 2023

nicotine monkey

Origin: Medway area of England.

When a person is trying to give up smoking but cannot help but give into their/or have cravings for nicotine it is said that they have the nicotine monkey sitting on their back.

"What's the matter? You look like you need a fag"
"Yeah, the nicotine monkey's on me back today!"

by Gigi July 13, 2004