Wank Girlfriend

A girl who a man always thinks about while masturbating.

As said by Neil from The Inbetweeners series 3

I was nearly unfaithful to my wank girlfriend...it's Hayden Panettiere off of Heroes...but the other day I was tempted to knock one out over Fearne Cotton

by mellie_88 August 20, 2010

Crying Wank

The act of engaging in masturbation while crying over the loss of a partner. Usually engaged in during or after a breakup, or a rejection, or an affair of the heart which has gone wrong. The point of the crying wank is to 'wank' through the tears of sadness over said loved one.

This act is always accompanied with the sound of "Angels" or "She's The One" - Robbie Williams.

(While tears leak from the eyes) Brett - "I can't believe she left me" -sniff- "If there's somebody... calling me on... she's the one..." (The act of ejaculation follows this.) - A typical crying wank after being rejected by the girl of your dreams.

by Justiciar January 5, 2010

Fury Wank

A fury wank is when you furiously jerk-off to alleviate the symptoms of extreme blue balls quickly in the bathroom when you realize the girl you're with in the house won't blow you, done as quickly as possible to make her think its only a massive piss or a quick shit

"Shit man, the fury wank I had to do last night was mad!"

"Sorry babe, just gotta bust a fury.. I mean, take a piss!"

by Radioleg August 28, 2014

armitage wanks

going for a wank in the toilet,

you were in there a long time, were you having an armitage wanks

by jaffaw July 16, 2009

wank wallow

That feeling you get once you've finished a filthy wank. When you are lying in bed, jizz everywhere, and you can see a mans balls bouncing around your laptop screen. The lowest feeling of all.

had the biggest wank wallow this morning, everything was great until that moment just after i came. Grim

by seanysean23 January 30, 2015

wank muse

object of desire during masturbation

Dude that Juju is such a wank muse I can go for hour just thinking about her.

by TheDirtyDozen December 1, 2010

Eco Wank

Masterbation with the lights off.

Tim: I'm all about saving the planet, I even have Eco Wanks.
Mike: What the hell is that?!
Tim: Oh I just masterbate with the lights off.
Mike: Get away from me.

by magicalg March 14, 2010