"Man that crazy girl from class wanted me to come in the bathroom while she was shiting so she could give a reverse blumpkin. But I said "no thats nasty!"
by Chris November 17, 2004
A masterful Procedure from professor Blumpkin... on how to actually get the coveted Blumpkin from your ho.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Let yourself splatter a little bit when you fart during intercourse... like on her pillow case and shit. This way she'll rub her face and sleep on a small part of your feces each and every night.
Step 3) GO FOR IT! Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens, "I agree that was awful! I never want that to happen again!! Let's take it into the bathroom next time, because obviously you turn me on so much I just have to shit myself silly whenever I cum!"
Step 4) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled life together.
Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.
Step 2) Let yourself splatter a little bit when you fart during intercourse... like on her pillow case and shit. This way she'll rub her face and sleep on a small part of your feces each and every night.
Step 3) GO FOR IT! Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens, "I agree that was awful! I never want that to happen again!! Let's take it into the bathroom next time, because obviously you turn me on so much I just have to shit myself silly whenever I cum!"
Step 4) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled life together.
Blumpkin Progressive (n.) "Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"
by Tyler Breckenridge November 10, 2005
violent spray fart while receiving a blumpkin so forceful that feces lands on the chin creating the appearance of a soul patch on of the giver of said blumpkin.
by vinginzo July 18, 2010
when a woman is taking a shit, a male goen in and puts his cock in her mouth and she performs oral sex on him.
My girl was taking a shit so I went in a shoved my cock in her mouth ans she gave me an inverted blumpkin
by Donnie May 21, 2004
A combination of a blumpkin and reverse blumpkin, where the person receiving the blowjob is also reading a book of minimal to moderate length.
Person 1: Yo, my girlfriend and I was doing the LeVar Blumpkin with "Atlas Shrugged" last night.
Person 2: Duuuude...
Person 1: Yeah, and then my roommate walked in to take a shit! He went so blind, he has to wear a visor now... But you don't have to take my word for it.
Person 2: Duuuude...
Person 1: Yeah, and then my roommate walked in to take a shit! He went so blind, he has to wear a visor now... But you don't have to take my word for it.
by Twink13 March 29, 2009
While receiving a blumpkin a turd scrapes off on her chin leaving a shit stain, similar to a soul patch.
Is that chocolate on your chin? Oh! I just gave my boyfriend a blumpkin. It must be a blumpkin patch.
by Kompteck September 20, 2010
by B514 December 06, 2006