The legendary sexual act in which you need 4 girls to do. 1 is riding, 1 on your face, 1 hand is fingering a girl and the other hand is doing the same. Legs are in a straight out together and your arms are spread out so your body is in the formation of a cross. THE JESUS.
Dude last night was so wild, I did the Jesus on these girls.
Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
Last night was legendary, I jesused these 4 girls.
by Keffery D October 31, 2013
A sexual position in which the male stands behind the female, firmly holds her wrists, penetrates her from behind, and lifts her up, using the motion of his hips to pull out and push in. Two women can use a strap-on dildo to accomplish this.
Extreme caution should be exercised to avoid unwanted anal penetration.
Both heterosexual and homosexual couples can use this for anal sex if they have adequately prepared for the experience and applied sufficient lubrication.
This position has little use other than for novelty or comedy value and should not be sprung upon your partner without advance warning.
Extreme caution should be exercised to avoid unwanted anal penetration.
Both heterosexual and homosexual couples can use this for anal sex if they have adequately prepared for the experience and applied sufficient lubrication.
This position has little use other than for novelty or comedy value and should not be sprung upon your partner without advance warning.
Man: "Hey, want to try 'The Jesus' to spice up our sex life?"
Woman: "Sure, how does that go?"
Man: "Here, let me show you"
(Penetrates her, lifts here up, and begins humping with her feet several inches off the ground)
Woman: "Oh Jesus, I think you just dislocated both of my shoulders"
Woman: "Sure, how does that go?"
Man: "Here, let me show you"
(Penetrates her, lifts here up, and begins humping with her feet several inches off the ground)
Woman: "Oh Jesus, I think you just dislocated both of my shoulders"
by GWBBQ March 02, 2005
Jesus was a man. A man like any other. Yes. You see, Jesus, the guy of wisdom (truthtingz) had a dream. Oh he had a dream. That one day, little white children, and little black children would hold hands and dance around Utah in neat packages of international communion beneath the smiling God expressed through the sun. Wait that was Martin Luther. Jesus had a dream. He was born spiritually awake, naturally gifted and automatically above bullshit. No one quite knows how he came about, there are many theories, the one I like the most is that his mother was really lucky, another is that Xenu had a heartattack when he heard a wise man was born, that doesn't affect the birth, but I hope he choked, because he was really mean. Hang on.Oh yeah. Jesus had a dream- that people would love each other, and just let it go. It isn't worth it. He believed that God smiled on all of us, and that we all had something beautiful within that was truly us. When people came to him and said "my boy ain't reppin the ends proper, I gon' cut his ass", he said "don't be mad, if he's mean to you, show him love and be one with God". When people came to him and said "that guy smells like petroleum distillate, should we beat him?" he said "NEIN- we're all equal, what you consider doing unto him should be the same as you would consider doing to someone you revere, this is love".
He healed many people. Lepers, AIDS victims, all manner of people I wouldn't touch out of fear. He was a good man. He believed in Good, he believed God was love, he just wanted us all to get along. We the people, in our infinite wisdom, decided to chuck rocks at him, take his words to justify hatred and war, and eventually wound up nailing him alive to a plank of wood, putting metal in his head, and generally acting with the dignity of a pig joyously rolling in shit. Fuck us.
Jesus - "Love your enemy, no evil can be ended by evil".
Us- "NO".
Jesus - "Forgive, and undo the burden of hatred that only separates us".
Us- "NO".
Tourettes Guy- "You can go to Jolly Pirate Donuts and take a two hour SHIT for all I care".
Us- "Smoke weed everyday".
Jesus- "Live life with a loving appreciation and kind humility"
Us- "You again? Stop trying to help us to be better human beings!"
Jesus - "Love your enemy, no evil can be ended by evil".
Us- "NO".
Jesus - "Forgive, and undo the burden of hatred that only separates us".
Us- "NO".
Tourettes Guy- "You can go to Jolly Pirate Donuts and take a two hour SHIT for all I care".
Us- "Smoke weed everyday".
Jesus- "Live life with a loving appreciation and kind humility"
Us- "You again? Stop trying to help us to be better human beings!"
by Optical mime August 08, 2011
by Jackass2012 August 21, 2011
by ph4r0h June 29, 2010
by ScotchMick August 20, 2014
As stated by someone else previously,Christianity is a good philosophy.It's a good moral guide and a good way to live your life.
As far as this idea that you can keep sinning and then ask for forgiveness,sinning then ask for forgiveness goes that's not true.God is not dumb.If you yourself knew someone like that who kept wronging you and kept asking you to forgive them would you not eventually grow tired of their act? God is patient and people can't help some of their sins and God understands this.However this is not a license to sin or be depraved or a lunatic or a homocidal maniac.But if you are sincerely trying to improve yourself then God knows this.But there is sin that means death,a point of no return.God isn't stupid.
Now just because you have some minor sins or self control issues is no reason to become a devil worshiper.That's ridiculous.But if you are so far gone that you are Hitler then you may already be doomed to hell and their may not be any forgiveness for you.
As far as this idea that you can keep sinning and then ask for forgiveness,sinning then ask for forgiveness goes that's not true.God is not dumb.If you yourself knew someone like that who kept wronging you and kept asking you to forgive them would you not eventually grow tired of their act? God is patient and people can't help some of their sins and God understands this.However this is not a license to sin or be depraved or a lunatic or a homocidal maniac.But if you are sincerely trying to improve yourself then God knows this.But there is sin that means death,a point of no return.God isn't stupid.
Now just because you have some minor sins or self control issues is no reason to become a devil worshiper.That's ridiculous.But if you are so far gone that you are Hitler then you may already be doomed to hell and their may not be any forgiveness for you.
by Word Up! May 13, 2005