infinite wood

A penile erecttion that will not deflate due to an unwanted reaction to taking viagra.

I had infinite wood on Thursday. I took some viagra so I could have sex with Desi Williams from Survivor. She is so hot i wanted to be able to have sex for more than 39 minutes, my usual standard. My erectile would not deflate or cum so I dragged my embarrased self to urgent care. Once there a nurse with huge tits hopped on my erect penis with her tight vagina and fucked me so hard with her tight pussy that I finally came. Thank you nurse Cheri!!!!!!!!!

by Donald Cowboy Cerrone November 8, 2017

fungal wood

A stinky penis

“Man your penis is stinky Logan!” “Yeah I know I got fungal wood

by Lil daddio9 December 16, 2017

Mourning wood

getting a boner at a funeral.

when i was at aunt Betty's funeral uncle Sean had mourning wood when he saw the body

by Rammit Inmah Asshol May 17, 2017

pool wood

After swimming in a pool for an extended period of time you exit to discover you have a boner. Usually there are many females in bikinis around.

I went to the public pool yesterday. When I got out I noticed everyone was staring at me. I looked down and to my dismay I had pool wood.

by Emily Murr July 31, 2006

Wood Ape

A large seven foot or greater "big-foot" type creature who is typically heard making ape like calls in large forest areas of the north western area of the U.S. the wood ape is often just out of camera focus and is never clearly photographed. Some foot prints may or may not have been found if wood apes exist but if they do not exist then foot prints have not been found. Wood apes are notoriously elusive and are sometimes smelled from a distance, often described as a piece of shit wrapped in burnt hair.

Ezekiel: Dude big foot is fake!

Bryson: Dude no way, I've seen one, but it wasn't a big foot, it was a wood ape!

Ezekiel: Bring me some of its droppings or shut up!

Bryson: I have the droppings of someone who has seen a wood ape...

Ezekiel: ....Shut up!!!

by EEZY90 December 30, 2011

babe in the woods

A person who seemingly knows nothing about a situation/something.

'C'mon, don't give me that babe in the woods routine'

by R.I.P Dimebag December 30, 2004

lay the wood

To attack or threaten physical aggressiveness toward another person. A metaphor for hitting a person with a melee weapon or other hand held item specifically consisting of wood (i.e. a bat or 2x4). Can also be phrased in a general context as "laying some wood." Not to be confused with the sexual innuendo of "laying pipe."

"Don't make me come over there and lay the wood on you, asshole."

by Heavy1974 November 10, 2009