Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"
As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!
And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
by MrCat January 24, 2015

The act of blowing ones nose. Too much masturbation can cause chafing and not enough can cause build up of fluids.
"hand me a tissue, I need to masturbate" "I think I'm sick, I've been masturbating all day" "jimmy uses masturbation to clear his sinuses"
by Tranchinafy April 12, 2011

by Me.meme February 11, 2018

When a young child thinks he's a god for touching himself for pleasure while looking at their step-mom or step-sis
by Niggerfan69 May 7, 2019

by Your Ass September 26, 2003

by ASSHOLE! July 10, 2004
