Skip to main content

masturbate

The way men who are doomed to be virgins forever pleasure themselves. The best way to do it is to use the forehand technique. Trust me, I know. Seriously though, if you can reach an orgasm, you are a true man. SO go try it, do it in front of your mother, your father if you're gay. Which i'm not. So i never did it in front of my father. Trust me.
Dude, while i had an orgy last night with 69 girls, you and your dad masturbated and 69'd. own3d.
by Master Masturbate June 16, 2005
mugGet the masturbatemug.

masturbate

Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"
As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!

And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."
by MrCat January 24, 2015
mugGet the masturbatemug.

masturbate

to fire ones death star
OR
to open ones fire hose
by Anonymous January 25, 2003
mugGet the masturbatemug.

masturbation

The act of blowing ones nose. Too much masturbation can cause chafing and not enough can cause build up of fluids.
"hand me a tissue, I need to masturbate" "I think I'm sick, I've been masturbating all day" "jimmy uses masturbation to clear his sinuses"
by Tranchinafy April 12, 2011
mugGet the masturbationmug.

Masturbation

Cumming on your hand/making lobe to your self
I love masturbating

Masturbation is amazimg
by Me.meme February 11, 2018
mugGet the Masturbationmug.

Masturbate

When a young child thinks he's a god for touching himself for pleasure while looking at their step-mom or step-sis
by Niggerfan69 May 7, 2019
mugGet the Masturbatemug.

masturbate

Well guys, I'm off to fly the airplane!
Man, I gotta go and shift gears!
by Your Ass September 26, 2003
mugGet the masturbatemug.

Share this definition