St. Mattress

worship from bed, usually very loud "OH GOD" repeated a lot

them: religious preference?
me: st. mattress...it's very exclusive!

by thatnoodlyappendage December 31, 2011

Club Mattress

The bed you lay in instead of going to the gym.

I'm supposed to get a work-out in, but I'm lounging in club mattress instead.

by PapiLoco June 02, 2010

Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

Mattress Holiday

A no-nothing holiday such as president’s day and Columbus Day that’s mainly to give government workers a day off and to sell mattresses.

Damn the bank is closed today for that stupid mattress holiday Columbus Day. Well let’s go buy a mattress I hear they’re 30% off today.

by Dnurse15 February 18, 2024

Mattress Tag

When someone is useless like so many matress tags that serve no purpose except to be torn off.

Jill is such a mattress Tag, she gets nothing done.

by Jasonbasinmason July 01, 2020

mattress

a comfortable thing u sleep on. and it must be white or blue and green.

u have a cool mattress! its blue and green!

by ihopeudontknowme December 16, 2022

mattress

A sleep rectangle that marketers made complicated.

“Alex’s laptop melted after loading his 59th mattress comparison tab”

“Matt spent 43,981 hours browsing mattress reviews, triggering an intervention and a Boring Mattress.”

by boringmattress December 18, 2024