bald monkeying

When your talking to a guy with a buzzcut and looks like a bald monkey wearing glasses and they keep on flirting with you for three months and you tell them you have feelings for them then they reject you because he's talking to someone else but he only talks to you and you go back to being best girl and guy friends than he keeps on flirting with you

Yeah jake is bald monkeying with me so i might just block him on snap

by emilyisveryhot June 4, 2023

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monkey nut

a really big testicle that some people have, they have to drag it around when they walk around

yo wheres jerry
jerry has a monkey nut, he will be here in an hour

by spuffymate March 28, 2023

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Fingers The Monkey

Fingers the Monkey was the first successful test held by the Dominican Republic to weaponize Monkeys. They added LSD and Heroine to the mother's bloodstream during the last few days before birth. thus Giving the baby monkey extremely chaotic behaviour, they then taught it through a reward system to attack all hands it saw, it was taught to jump onto the back of the hand, pry off the fingernails and then jam them into the backs of the targets knucklebones, the monkey would then eat off the fingers, leaving a thumb and fingernail covered hands. Thus giving him the name 'Fingers The Monkey'. After a containment breach in which Fingers escaped into the whiled after taking the fingers of five guards, he has not been located. and newspaper headlines would suggest he is now running around central ad northern America, taking the fingers of whoever he comes in contact with.

Jim: Hey man, look at this cool monkey on my hand."
Bil: Bro watch out, that's fucking Fingers the Monkey"
Jim: *screaming in pain as Fingers rips out fingernails and relocates them at his knuckles before eating his fingers."

by Sidney Stevens June 20, 2021

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brass monkey

hard-boiled slang for a burden or handicap, akin to an albatross around one's neck or a mark of shame

"A prison record is a handicap, a brass monkey perched from the back of every man we choose. If the man starts giving us trouble, we simply turn that brass monkey against him. If a man turns from us, we add a full-scale smear campaign to the handicap of his prison record, and the man is ruined for life. Society will accept a man with one brass monkey, like a prison record, but two? Never." "The Brass Monkey," I was a Communist for the FBI, air date 4-9-53

by Crassius June 24, 2021

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porch monkey

Lazy person not lazy black person im gona help take it back and reclaim it aswell as many of my freinds are doing we suggest that you do it to try to make a diffrence.

Jack was looking at his neighbors from his porch therefore Jack is a porch monkey.

by J FRO August 25, 2006

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