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orphan crushing machine

A theoretical device referenced when someone performs an act of generosity of kindness that is only possible because a horrible system has been normalized. Usually seen in "feel good" stories in the news where a child sells a collection so they can afford cancer treatment or a military veteran receives a prosthesis because of a GoFundMe.
Local man saves 500 orphans from the orphan crushing machine!

That's great news! Wait... why is there a machine that crushes orphans?
by v022 December 5, 2025
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full on crusher

Something that is simply the bombass shit.
I was out late last night talking to this prostitute and she gave me a full on crusher.
by RRRR July 23, 2007
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closet candy crusher

One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."

Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"

Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
by the mysterious j September 7, 2013
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nonsexual girl crush

A relationship between female roommates/soulmates with no romantic attraction; involving 3am giggling fits, prompted by absolutely nothing, and inside jokes so obscure that even the girls involved have forgotten their origins.
Jen and Abby have a really extreme nonsexual girl crush. I hear them giggling all night long, but when I ask what's so funny, all they can say is "It's a doodle with a gizbot!!" The hell?
by Charliedoo April 17, 2014
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The Miley Cirus Effect

this is when your sisters or little sisters are found dead because of excessive ass shaking/twerking
Dad: MY GIRLS!! what happened!?!

Brother: The Miley Cirus Effect dad
by Egraze November 25, 2014
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5 Second Crush

When you're not initially attracted to a person, but then they do something that is attractive and you're attracted to them in the moment but then later on you don't feel the same way and you're not that attracted to them anymore.
girl: wow I didn't like him before but he's so cute!

1 hour later

girl: I feel nothing towards him. I guess it was just a 5 Second Crush
by 5 second crush March 14, 2016
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Texan Skull Crushing

When 3 or more nice looking women face sit one dude at once typically the result of a bet. Either that or the dude is restrained or blindfolded.
Dude 1: I had no idea your two sisters and your girlfriend stuck with bets that strictly!
Dude 2: Oh?
Dude 1: Yeah! I never realized how akward Texan Skull Crushing is!
Dude 2: YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE BOY!
Alternate context:
Dude: What where am I? I can't move or see!
Sister 1: Take the blindfold off of him!
Dude: Why are you naked exactly!?
Sister 2: have you ever heard of Texan Skull Crushing?
GF: Hope you like the booty
by Nman1103 September 27, 2017
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