jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.

That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*

by GVibez November 17, 2016

jesus window

the 24 hours after a virgin christian girl gets married and is able to engage in sexual intercourse

Im getting married tomorrow, but I'm most excited for the Jesus Window.

by whoisgary November 29, 2016

jesus marchant

A pendejo

Ira un jesus marchant pendejo

by Unmexicanoal1000 December 5, 2016

Jesuskazam

If Alakazam (from Pokemon) became the leader of the christian religion.

It actually has no real uses...
Apart of saying "Jesuskazam!" with your weirdo friends instead of "holy shit

by Ruile January 6, 2017

jesustanten

Jesustanten is a swedish mémé

Oh shit it´s jesustanten

by NalleNegar January 12, 2017

Jesus Eyes

A person in the 7th grade that likes to stare at burritos like they are jusus

Me: Oh my gosh Ellie Carter is totally Jesuseyeing that burrito

Ellie: Totally!!
Me: We should nickname him jesus eyes!

by Jesuseye's best friend February 4, 2017

Jesus Apex

1) the Good Friday which occurs during your 33rd year (I.e. The Jesus was crucified)

2) the point in ones life at which their moral worth substantially their immoral worth

1) Man, as long as I don't get crucified on Good Friday, I'll have made it past my Jesus apex

2) I reached my Jesus apex today when I saved a boat of orphans from falling into that volcano and pretended to listen to my mom on the phone for 2 hours

by twatwaffle3000 February 4, 2017