Human Tabloid

A person who primarily derives pleasure from acquiring and then spreading private, sensitive, and potentially harmful information about other people. Such activities are typically their primary form of entertainment, and they usually justify their behavior by pointing out how common and "normal" it is.

My neighbor is basically a human tabloid. Every time I speak to her, she is always so damn eager to share sensitive personal information (juicy gossip) about other people, while simultaneously trying to nose her way into my own affairs, no doubt intending to spread my own dirt far and wide as well. Usually, she feigns genuine concern, but she is obviously solely motivated by the prospect of entertaining herself, because at no point does she use the information she gains to actually help anybody. What a bitch. Human tabloids like her are everywhere, so you gotta stay on your toes.

by Jimbob Cleetus III September 1, 2020

Tableass

When a person's butt sticks out horizontally so u can pull up a chair and eat of their ass

That lady has a tableass, now i dont have to find a table.

by JAlopie January 18, 2008

table math

when you are out in a group at a bar or restaurant and there is a shared bill and no one has change(usually for a twenty) or the correct amount for their portion of the tab . Thus follows a complex series of illogical but correct money swaps to come out with the correct amount for the bill plus tip.

Lets settle the bill. I think we need some table math. You give me a twenty, i will put in fifteen and cover you five on your tab and then you give him a ten. That should make us even.

by aperritano July 7, 2009

table poaching

The act of patrons staking out and claiming a table in a "seat yourself" lounge/restaurant before staff is given a fair chance to buss it off or previous customers leave. This usually happens during a dinner-rush.

This results in the server becoming annoyed and having to awkwardly reach over and make "small talk" with customers as they wipe off the previous mess.

Server 1: " My table is just about to leave, they're getting their coats on. I just have to ring-up a Mastercard, and I can clear it off..."

Server 2: "Too late. Check out the dude at the entrance. Definitely table poaching. He's making a bee-line to 106. Aaaaand, yup, he just asked your table if he could sit there."

by disgruntledserver December 4, 2010

Table Leverage

This occurs when you order the most expensive items to eat and drink for yourself when dining with friends who will spilt the bill evenly. You benefit when the bill is split evenly among the diners by paying less than the cost of your dinner while others pay more than the cost of their dinner.

You order the caviar appetizer, the steak, lobster and fois gras and a dessert which costs $75 in total, when your 3 friends order cheaper items that total $40 each. When you split the the bill ($75+$40+$40+$40=$195/ 4 people = $48.75) you pay 48.75 for your meal that cost $75, and your other guests pay more for their food than it should have cost. Jerry used table leverage by eating like a king and making his vegan friends pay for it.

by Romey M October 30, 2010

table drugs

drug residue left over after doing drugs on a table

ie: yo scrape me table drugs

by moon poco January 1, 2014

tablik

Tablik, a smart , handsome, independent young man with ambition and goals . Tablik is usually known for his out going and his humorous personality . Tablik is usually the person getting to know everyone and start conversations and making new friends which helps him with his amazing charm .

“Wow tablik is so amazing I love how funny he is.”
“Tablik is super cool even tho we just met.”

by Leeshizzle October 14, 2018