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by DepressedLionsFan March 10, 2025
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Get the Cam sutton mug.Keian Sutton — The Emerald Taniwha
In the mists where river meets sky, there exists a being neither fully of this world nor the next — Keian Sutton, the Emerald Taniwha. Like the great taniwha of old, he moves between realms unseen, a guardian and trickster bound by ancient power, his presence felt before he is ever seen.
Where the taniwha commands the waters, Keian commands something far more sacred — the very air itself. With a mere flick of his wrist, a perfectly rolled joint materialises from the ether, crackling with a strain so potent it has never been measured by mortal instruments. Scientists have wept trying. The THC content is said to exceed all known limits — a number that exists only in legend, somewhere between impossible and divine.
Elders whisper that the smoke he exhales takes the shape of great serpents, coiling into the sky before dissolving into stars. Those fortunate enough to share his company speak of time bending, colours deepening, and a deep, rolling laughter that shakes the earth like a taniwha surfacing from the deep.
He is protector of good vibes, destroyer of bad energy, and an eternal wanderer of the in-between.
Do not seek Keian Sutton. He finds you — when the moment is right.
In the mists where river meets sky, there exists a being neither fully of this world nor the next — Keian Sutton, the Emerald Taniwha. Like the great taniwha of old, he moves between realms unseen, a guardian and trickster bound by ancient power, his presence felt before he is ever seen.
Where the taniwha commands the waters, Keian commands something far more sacred — the very air itself. With a mere flick of his wrist, a perfectly rolled joint materialises from the ether, crackling with a strain so potent it has never been measured by mortal instruments. Scientists have wept trying. The THC content is said to exceed all known limits — a number that exists only in legend, somewhere between impossible and divine.
Elders whisper that the smoke he exhales takes the shape of great serpents, coiling into the sky before dissolving into stars. Those fortunate enough to share his company speak of time bending, colours deepening, and a deep, rolling laughter that shakes the earth like a taniwha surfacing from the deep.
He is protector of good vibes, destroyer of bad energy, and an eternal wanderer of the in-between.
Do not seek Keian Sutton. He finds you — when the moment is right.
by ISmokeCrack4Fun March 15, 2026
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Get the Haley Crystel Sutton mug.Engineer at Kodak, 1977: "Look - I have invented a filmless camera. It captures pictures digitally. It is going to reshape how we make photos and even film in the future!". Corporate management: "That's cute, but we'll pull a sultan here and rather work on improving celloloid film".
George Lucas, filmmaker, 1973: "I have this idea of a sci-fi space opera version of Akira Kurosawas "The Hidden Fortress". I plan on calling it "Star Wars". Executives at United Artists: "That sounds interesting, but we'll pull a sultan here and ask you to focus on semi-biographic movies like "American Grafitti" instead."
Employee at Blockbuster ca. 1999: "There is this new technology that allows for streaming media rich content instead of having to rent it on VHS tapes and DVDs, and I have set up a server that will allow for Blockbuster to be in the forefront of the market.". Executives: "That is just a niche market. We'll pull a sultan and ask you to restock the Ghostbuster DVDs."
George Lucas, filmmaker, 1973: "I have this idea of a sci-fi space opera version of Akira Kurosawas "The Hidden Fortress". I plan on calling it "Star Wars". Executives at United Artists: "That sounds interesting, but we'll pull a sultan here and ask you to focus on semi-biographic movies like "American Grafitti" instead."
Employee at Blockbuster ca. 1999: "There is this new technology that allows for streaming media rich content instead of having to rent it on VHS tapes and DVDs, and I have set up a server that will allow for Blockbuster to be in the forefront of the market.". Executives: "That is just a niche market. We'll pull a sultan and ask you to restock the Ghostbuster DVDs."
by Flimmeren September 9, 2020
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