Mattress Bearing Bitch

A girl that has a lot of sex. Hooker. Lady of the night. Slut.

Guy 1: Wow look at that girl, she looks so hot in that short skirt with the fuck-me pumps on. I want to go get her number.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.

by Ron Damint July 13, 2017

Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

Club Mattress

The bed you lay in instead of going to the gym.

I'm supposed to get a work-out in, but I'm lounging in club mattress instead.

by PapiLoco June 20, 2010

mattress

Bed

But also used when naming various options in a hard situation

Yeah, I’ve review all the mattresses

by Jaakson17391 August 1, 2023

Mattress Holiday

A no-nothing holiday such as president’s day and Columbus Day that’s mainly to give government workers a day off and to sell mattresses.

Damn the bank is closed today for that stupid mattress holiday Columbus Day. Well let’s go buy a mattress I hear they’re 30% off today.

by Dnurse15 February 18, 2024

mattress firm

A place to pretend to be interested in buying a mattress so you can take a nice nap on a comfy mattress for free

I live in Mattress Firm because I’m poor.

by Dumb ass bitch hoe January 14, 2018

foam mattress

The best type of mattress hands down. Much superior to spring mattresses. Nothing can compare to a foam mattress when it comes to comfort. However when you buy a foam mattress you are also making the statement that sexy time isn't reserved in the bed anymore, this is more of a pro than a con really (vanilla sex = booorinng).

Jane and dane decided to get a foam mattress and did not regret it one bit. However it was impossible to fuck on it, so they did it on the floor instead.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 7, 2021