portable douche kit

one whose doucheness is so ingrained or inherent to his existence that it travels everywhere with him;

the very person who is so totally douched up

Mr Dude: Fuck, here comes Nelson. I can't stand that idiot.
Uncle Dude: Dude is a portable douche kit.
Mr Dude: Thats refreshing.

by drpoonandtheteenangels July 24, 2009

Death kit

A death kit is an ensemble of tools/weapons used for (or put together in preparation of) a murder. It usually consists of duct tape/rope, knives, a gun, garbage bags etc...
In the case or real killers a death kit will consist more of:
A beautiful array of knives (scalpels, machetes, etc...),
Saran wrap and duct tape (like in the show Dexter),
Garbage Bags (for disposal of body),
Hacksaw (for dismembering the corpse),

Death kits can include any number of many kinds of tools, depending on the situation and what is needed for the murder.

J:Shit man, you've got a dope death kit
L: I know I just put it together yesterday
J: Should you really be showing this around man?
L: Nah, it's cool, this is a special occasion
J: What's the occ------

by ThePyroNympho January 23, 2011

full kit wanker

A grown man wearing a full football kit in a public place other than a football pitch. Football Shirt, shorts and socks. This may also apply to other full sports kit wearers in similar situations. You will naturally think/say ' What a wanker'. Therefore 'What a full kit wanker' is applicable.

Man/Woman in any place other than actually playing the sport. Maybe in the High Street, Pub,public transport.......Anywhere in fact!!! Even on the Terraces at the match!!! Anybody commiting this crime is a 'Full kit wanker'.

by Sharkyyoung October 31, 2013

get one's kit off

UK slang meaning to take off your clothes; a request that is purely sexual in nature.

"Have you seen her since she lost weight? I wouldn't mind getting her kit off."

by Sascha October 7, 2004

Shit in his Mess Kit

Mess Kit - A collection of silverware and cookware used during extended military campaigns.

Shit in ones Mess Kit - Military term meaning “to fuck oneself over”. Who in there right mind would shit in the very thing they are going to eat out of?

Jarhead: Wow! Bob really Shit in his Mess Kit when he told the Sergeant Jones he was a no load limp dick.
Other Jarhead: Yup...he is fucked!

by dunkmonkey December 9, 2008

Conversion Kit

The act of changing ones sexual preferance. Typically from female on female to female on male.

Michelle was given a conversion kit by shane, which put julie out of a job and relationship...

by s._w._ March 31, 2009

cunt kit

The kit bought from Halfords or similar motorist's chain store designed to make a modern car look stupid. Preferred modification of choice by Burberry capped townies. Usually involves body coloured 'skirts', and a large and pointless spoiler. Most commonly found on Citroen Saxos, Vauxhall Corsas and Ford Kas.

"Look at the cunt kit on that car."

by SPF December 12, 2003