jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.
Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.
by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 30, 2010
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jerk punch

signature move of naweed. punching som1 in a downward jerking motion making sure the knuckles hit first causing extreme pain and usually a dead arm, called the jerk punch because of the jerking off motion of the downward punch
OMFG naweed jerk punched me and i cant fucking feel my arm omg wtf
by weedsterandzach November 10, 2010
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jerk around

to hassle someone; to waste someone's time. .
Stop jerking me around and give me my money back. They sure like to jerk around people in that music shop.
by HichemFerdes December 18, 2016
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high jerk

High Jerk- When two people high-five on your penis, and then proceed to jerk you off. It can be quite refreshing although, if done wrong, can permanently render the owner of said penis completely flaccid for life.
Oh man we high jerked that man so hard!
by TheTwinkleToes January 07, 2016
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jerk master

One proficient at making all manner of meat jerky (beef, turkey, venison, etc.), typically named Lindsey.
That Lindsey made another batch of awesome beef jerky, she's a real jerk master!
by sketch1jm August 03, 2019
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Mid-Jerk

A scenario when, as you're in the process of masturbating to porn, your friend texts you and the text pops up at the top of your viewing screen blocking some of the action.
Jerry: (Masturbating to porn)

Friend texts: yo could I borrow your notes from class? I was absent today.

Jerry: Dude you caught me mid-jerk.
by serd12 June 18, 2018
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squat jerk

the act of squatting and jerking your meat simultaneously
i squat jerked for 20 minutes last week any my legs still hurt!
by tim jhonson December 03, 2018
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