Skip to main content

The Nick Condition

The Nick Condition thankfully rarely seen disease, with several common and a few not so common symptoms. It's created from a bacterial organism, known as a Tadiumvir (often called the Nick Bug) It is carried through sperm, and grows in the childs brain. Early childhood symptoms include misfitism and hate from the other children.

As the subject approaches puberty, the Nick Bug is fully grown, and begins to secret feces onto the brain. This confuses and poisons the brain, leaving the many symptoms listed in full here:

-Lack of Common Sense
-Lonliness
-Denial of Lonliness
-Homosexuality
-Denial of Homosexuality
-Constant itching of the penis, testicles, gooch and asscrack
-Delightful sensations from anal penetration
-Acne
-Horribly thick and wiry hair
-Chronic fucked up haircut
-Mild hallucinations (for example, the subject making airplane sounds or believing he/she has friends)
-Lack of dress sense (large, bulky winter jackets, Dragonball Z shirts and gray sweat pants that are too tight are common)
-Interest in unbelievably childish things
-Chronic Masturbation
-Poor eyesight, requiring glasses
-Useless ears that not only prevent him from hearing you hate him, but also make his glasses fall off, requiring a rope or string attachment, often found on librarians and old bitches
-Several learning disorders including ADD, ADHD, Teretts, Fucktardation
-Denial of Fucktardedness
-Freakish height
-Lack of muscle or fat
-Weakness
-Vulnerability to beatings
-A lifetime supply of Virginity

Unfortunatly, The Nick Condition is uncurable as of April 17, 2007. And we don't really want a cure either. We'd be much happier having these freaks around to pick on.

Every school, every town, every place has a Nick. What happens when they grow up? The Nick Bug dies, and its absense drives the subject into a deep depression, fueled by lack of social skills and intelligence. They usually commit a quiet suicide or sink into obscurity. However, some react dangerously, and attempt to perform a killing spree at their high school. But with their stupidity (it never fully fades) they try to use water guns, and end up crying at their failage.
Me: Woah! Check that greasy fuckhead out!
You: Wow! He must have the Nick Condition!
by Clayton Carr December 24, 2008
mugGet the The Nick Condition mug.

conditioner

while recieving head, the male pulls out just before shooting the goods and goes in the female's hair. at this point, the male rubs her hair vigorously. Note: wash hands afterwards.
Last night I gave my girl a little natural conditioner.
by sickwitdadick July 2, 2004
mugGet the conditioner mug.

condie

1) Slang for condom

2) Slang for Condolezza Rice
Looks like I accidentally pissed off condie again. Now we're fucked!
by Houman February 15, 2005
mugGet the condie mug.

condish

what kind of condish do you have, your hair smells nice.
by cabeera June 22, 2009
mugGet the condish mug.

Cynditch

A game developed by Cyn that is a variation of a trivia form of quidditch. In Cynditch, players answer Harry Potter trivia using dirty responses. The dirtiest response to each question, as decided by the referee, wins the question.
Ref: Let's play Cynditch! What's the coat of arms from Beauxbatons?
Player 1: two crossed golden wangs each emitting 3 gallons of cum
Player 2: a pair of crossed penies and your mom's ass
Player 3: two crossed golden dildos each blossoming a large fountain of cum
Player 4: two dildos, entwined, each shooting three squirts of cum
(Real answer: two crossed, golden wands, each emitting three stars)
Ref: Player 1 wins this point of Cynditch!
by GoddessOfWhips March 21, 2011
mugGet the Cynditch mug.

Conditus egoasphyxirhinitis

When a person deliberately puts themself through hell eating spicy foods to prove that they are tough enough but end up in a hot mess with a runny nose and gasping for breath with watery eyes. Struggling to grab tissues,water,milk to alleviate the symptoms.

"Conditus" - Spicy in Latin
ego - is ego
asphyxrhinitis- Inflammation of the airways coupled with a runny nose.
person 1 : I'm getting the extra hot basting on my nandos chicken

person 2: Ooh you're about to suffer conditus egoasphyxirhinitis.
by Sibby & Wedkemail August 25, 2022
mugGet the Conditus egoasphyxirhinitis mug.

confituate

verb-transitive: the act of placing one's lips on an object, namely another person's lips/body part or an inanimate object.

note*: created because all of the other words for kissing are awkward. ex: smooch, kiss, make out
"i love it when we confituate." - john
"i dont" - mark

"please dont confituate me there" - donald
by dontjokingme January 6, 2008
mugGet the confituate mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email