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jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch

a term used to describe something shocking, or so dumfounded and stupid.
Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!

specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.

Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 15, 2017
mugGet the jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutchmug.

Jesus [Yeshua]

Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar

A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.

See Washing Library

Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 13, 2024
mugGet the Jesus [Yeshua]mug.

Just jesus june

Sixth month of Sigma year. If you made it this far than it means you are halfway through the Sigma year, congrats! You mastered your emotions and looking better than ever before and remember, Jesus is watching.
Mike:"James is going to church now?! Just jesus june is doing wonders for him i guess"
by chorbet November 15, 2022
mugGet the Just jesus junemug.

Jesus H. God

A quite humorous variation of “Jesus H. Christ”, most famously used in the 1986 film “Short Circuit”. An apt term for expressing your extreme shock at a sudden turn of events.
Weather reporter: “Folks in the DFW area may not be able to see the April 8th solar eclipse due to cloud coverage.”

Person who invested time and money to travel to Texas specifically for this event: “JESUS H. GOD!”
by Alex-2598 April 4, 2024
mugGet the Jesus H. Godmug.

Jesus time

When you declare Jesus time there is no cussing and no shenanigans .
Guy 1: That little mother fuc...
Guy 2: It’s Jesus time.
Guy 1: Ok.
by Hamburgerblobfish May 10, 2019
mugGet the Jesus timemug.

Jesu

also known "Papi J" this alien being from another universe is usually a very nice person although other people may refer to him as God He isn't although He is a top D.
by thatonerandomguyonurbandict October 22, 2023
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JESUS CHRIST

MY HUSBAND JACOB RENE REYNA IN LUBBOCK TEXAS ACTUAL HELL ON EARTH...
JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
mugGet the JESUS CHRISTmug.

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