I need to sort out my life 

Every assholes go-to excuse for ignoring you so they could play games and talk to other people.

You: Hey, I really miss talking to you!
*five hours later*
You: Oh... I guess you don’t feel the same way.
Them: Sorry, I need to sort out my life.

I need to sort out my life by Getrekt911 June 18, 2019

I love you infinity 

I love you infinity is a FACT, which you can not prove wrong so don't even try. It can be used to win any argument about who loves who more.

"I love you infinity, so I automatically win this one babe."

I love you infinity by Idontcareaboutthispart July 22, 2019

i'm sorry sex 

when you and your significant other have a fall out and to make up for what you did you engage in sexual intercourse

Emily and me had a big fall out and it was my fault, I had to give her some I'm sorry sex.

i'm sorry sex by jay fucks dogs August 4, 2019

I'mdfwy 

I'mdfwy- (I'm) (d)one (f)ucking (w)ith (y)ou. Similar to the designation idfwy (I don't fuck with you), but used after the fact. Where idfwy is preemptive, i.e. "I don't want to have anything to do with you". I'mdfwy is said after the fact, having known the person and realizing you no longer want to have any communications whatsoever.

Nikki: You're an asshole. I hate you.
Nicholas: After all I've done for you, this is how you treat me.

Nikki: (a week later with no contact via text) Please forgive me. I messed up.
Nicholas: Nope. I'm tired of you always treating me like this. You're not going to change. It's clear now. You know what? I'mdfwy. Bye.

I'mdfwy by NickVic August 15, 2019

I just wanna (feat. Mac Miller) 

Possibly the best song ever to be produced, created by Cheef Keef and Mac Miller. The mere mentioning of this song in any social interaction will immediately make the one who mentioned it at least 18,000× more attractive and intelligent. As well as the fact that who ever likes this song will automatically become a neurosurgeon.

Some hot girl: What kind of music do you like?

Guy: I really like that song, Cheef Keef - I just wanna (feat. Mac Miller).

Some hot girl: Have sex with me right now.

I just wanna (feat. Mac Miller) by 1234qwertyuiop5678 August 25, 2019

I choked on my latte 

A regular in social media and journalist parlance, used to express disbelief at comments or actions that stand on pretense. Alternatively it is a barb or quip used to lampoon pretentiousness when in any way detected from an interlocutor.

"When I heard that the arts minister hadn't heard of the French new wave, I choked on my latte"

I choked on my latte by Hoherbass October 9, 2019

I ate my cat 

When the time feels weird and you don’t know what to say

I ate my cat yesterday

I ate my cat by Grandma ate peppa November 4, 2019