kneeing a loaf

To take a shit. Originates in South Yorkshire, but heard in North of England more widely.
"Sorry I couldn't take your call, but I was halfway through kneeing a loaf and couldn't get to the phone."
by Dr. Phil O'Boogie November 08, 2007
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Dirty Loaf

The act of offering someone a sandwhich and instead of using butter use the piece makers own ejaculate
I made my mum a sandwhich last night from that dirty loaf
by BeastaaH January 09, 2011
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A whole loaf

A hottie; synonym for shnack/whole shnack
"hmmm, girl! He was looking like a whole loaf!"
by LilbiotchS May 19, 2017
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douche loaf

Person 1: Man, that guy is such a douche loaf.
Person 2: Yeah, he's more than just a slice of douche.
by DrOctagonapus February 05, 2010
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birthing a loaf

Tristin: Oh man I just birthed a HUGE fucking loaf... You might not want to go in there for a while.
Jakkq: Why the hell were you birthing a loaf in my bathroom, dude?! How big?
Tristin: So big, there's not even a measurement for it.
by Dextiu March 29, 2014
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soak the loaf

The act of defecating and proceeding to jizz on said floating feces. (Loaf)
Jim: "Dude, I just soaked the loaf so hard last night."
Danny: "Bro, what does soak the loaf even mean?"

Jim: "Dude, you've never soaked your loafs before? Oh man, let me show you."

Jim: *Proceeds to soak a loaf*
Danny: "Jim, what the fuck man."
by YouKnowWhoC; December 28, 2017
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