Turtle Job

When a person curls their lips over their teeth while performing a blow job. This results in less irritation to the penis from teeth chafing but causes the performer to resemble a turtle.

Fred: Man, my dick is so raw from my girlfriends terrible blow job last night.
Jack: Dude! Just have her give you a turtle job next time.

by Sogrox May 2, 2014

Thomas the Turtle

A term commonly used to exemplify the fact that all Thomas-es slightly resemble turtles. Also, it is used to mock young, muscular men who enjoy eating sandwiches, wrestling, and refer to their father's by their first name.

Girl1: Woah..... that guy is such a Thomas the Turtle!!

Girl2: Wow... Tom sure looks like a turtle!!! Soo... that's why they call him Thomas the turtle!

by hge13 December 22, 2010

Lisa Turtle

Being the only black person in a group of white people

I would run for congress but I don't want to be a Lisa Turtle.

by Thisguy34 September 6, 2013

Turtle Mouth

Term used to describe people of Greek origin.

John Stamos from "Full House" is Turtle Mouth.

by ??What?? December 1, 2010

Turtle Peeking

A euphemistic expression regarding the extreme urgency to defecate and holding it in as much in as possible. Having the pressure of a fecal turd poking itself partially out of the bum hole while trying to make it to the closest restroom.

Roger sprinted down the hall from his desk to the restroom. He has a turtle peeking.

by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Turtle Dicking

When someone is wearing a face mask, but their nose is popping out

Look at Tom, he is turtle dicking in the office

by jackwagonjoe November 13, 2020

Turtle Spear

A thin hollow tube of plastic for drinking liquids, also know as a straw. Occasionally found in the stomachs of animals and in the noses of turtles.

Starbucks Barista: How can I help you?
Jeremy: Can I get a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato, minus the turtle spear?
Starbucks Barista: ...Excuse me?
Jeremy: A Turtle Spear.. you know, the thing used to drink your overpriced coffee and kill turtles?
Starbucks Barista: Ooh a straw! Sure thing.
Jeremy: Thank you! Just trying to save the world.

by @ComedicWizard April 7, 2019