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Jesus spizzim

Yo dude, I tried not to cum, but Jesus spizzim happened, what do I do?
by Kachowism August 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus spizzimmug.

Jesus

I'm not COMPARING myself to Jesus. I figured out WHY Jesus. This is just what you do to people.
Hym "Amd you don't want me to submit to Jesus. You want me to submit to you by proxy. Jesus isn't here and even if he came back today I wouldn't submit to him. AND! AND... If he is real... He can't even do anything about it because I'm immortal."
by Hym Iam March 2, 2025
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.
Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.
by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023
mugGet the I will send you to jesusmug.

Jesus

Guy with the Thickest biggest cock you’ll ever see. Thinking His name makes you moan. Woman love him and men are jealous of him.
by Queen queefa March 22, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Smuggling

Hym "Yeah, no he IS Jesus Smuggling. He do be doing that. That's funny that you actually called him out for it. Even after the fact. It's so dishonest. By defining God thay way it implicit that the people who consider it an active and sentient being that has acted upon reality on several occasions by engaging in direct dialogue with key figures thought history. And he hates ME because his sophistry doesn't work on me."
by Hym Iam December 29, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Smugglingmug.

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