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sonia jesus

Someone that has a secret crush on a milf that he knows. Doesn’t have the guts too say it to here, but if Jesus had the chance he would have smashed that ass of Sonia when that leotard at the club was looking delicious that night.
Sonia jesus Marcos best friend really wants to express his fleeing with you
by Soniajesuslove July 9, 2022
mugGet the sonia jesusmug.

Jesus

A popular pornstar, know for his world class blowjobs.
"Jesus can give a mean blowjob. He blew that man's dick right off with the power of god".
by AWildBro December 1, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus posting

Jesus posting or just Jesusposting is a subsection of "shit posting" where you use religious quotes in a satirical manner
-Did you see Jake post that fucked up photo saying "embrace Jesus"

-Yeah He's just Jesus posting
by HenryS June 28, 2023
mugGet the Jesus postingmug.

Nick Jesus

That dude is Nick Jesus! He’s such a docuhebag!
by Dhehhdhd March 31, 2019
mugGet the Nick Jesusmug.

Jesus loves you

Manipulation. A simple way to push your religion on people who don’t give a flying fuck about your book club.
*someone chilling and being themselves (typically people who are lgbtq)*
“Jesus loves you”
by Awe.skeetskeeg February 11, 2024
mugGet the Jesus loves youmug.

Jesus

I am Jesus, bow to me mortal.
I am Jesus obey me or be sent to hell you sinner
by jackjackipod3@gmail.com August 26, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Handshake

A Jesus handshake is when someone spits on a cock then sucks it passionately while jacking it off and rubbing the balls. Once the man cums, they smear the cum all over the hands and rub it in their face then rub the cock on their eyes.
Person 1: Yo this person maya is a hot chick
Person 2: Yeah she gave me a good ol’ Jesus handshake!
by Cosmiccun7 December 13, 2022
mugGet the Jesus Handshakemug.

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