A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
by Double take July 10, 2025
Get the Felon's Tree Removal mug.An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025
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A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.
Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.
by Read it! July 14, 2025
Get the Felon's Tree Removal mug.by Jaffir November 25, 2025
Get the Flaming Christmas Tree mug.Dude 1: *Points at tree*, what is that dude..?
Dude 2: ...I shan't say...
Dude 1: It's the Hawk Bunga Tree
Dude 2: ...I shan't say...
Dude 1: It's the Hawk Bunga Tree
by hankbungertree December 1, 2025
Get the Hawk Bunga Tree mug.A “CE TT” is what you get when someone looks at Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Poland, Serbia, Croatia, Slovenia, Kosovo, Montenegro, Bosnia, Albania, North Macedonia, Bulgaria, Slovakia, Czech Republic and Ukraine… and decides “yeah, let’s throw ALL that into one pot, surely everyone will be happy!”
It’s basically Pokémon but with nations: gotta catch ‘em all, even if your 5 line tech tree inventory is full. All because it comes with “diverse playstyles,” both redfor and bluefor gear, a Navy that magically becomes “big” once you merge 15 small nations (Including land locked ones) Calling it a “Polish TT” of course doesn't fit, because it contains 15 differenat fucking nations , because apparently Poland alone would just be a copy and paste of USSR (because adding even more nations with USSR derived equipment will surely help).
The idea doesn’t work because it tries to merge far too many countries, each with their own distinct and often unrelated vehicle lineups. Instead of creating a focused, coherent progression, it ends up combining dozens of unique designs, doctrines, and equipment into a single tree that becomes overcrowded and inconsistent. With so many nations involved, the result isn’t unified or practical — it’s simply too much content condensed into one place, making it structurally messy and difficult to balance.
It’s basically Pokémon but with nations: gotta catch ‘em all, even if your 5 line tech tree inventory is full. All because it comes with “diverse playstyles,” both redfor and bluefor gear, a Navy that magically becomes “big” once you merge 15 small nations (Including land locked ones) Calling it a “Polish TT” of course doesn't fit, because it contains 15 differenat fucking nations , because apparently Poland alone would just be a copy and paste of USSR (because adding even more nations with USSR derived equipment will surely help).
The idea doesn’t work because it tries to merge far too many countries, each with their own distinct and often unrelated vehicle lineups. Instead of creating a focused, coherent progression, it ends up combining dozens of unique designs, doctrines, and equipment into a single tree that becomes overcrowded and inconsistent. With so many nations involved, the result isn’t unified or practical — it’s simply too much content condensed into one place, making it structurally messy and difficult to balance.
Gaijin should add a Eastern European Tech Tree- Person who isn't educated enough
Eastern Europe Tech Tree is the better solution- Person who isn't educated enough
Eastern Europe Tech Tree is the better solution- Person who isn't educated enough
by ThePolishThunder December 9, 2025
Get the Eastern European Tech Tree mug.When a severely overweight man has not shaved his pubic hairs in YEARS, leaving a fucking forest of pubic hairs that resemble a christmas tree when the penis is erect. The man then ejaculates straight upward in the air so that the nut falls onto the pubes, he then lets the nut harden in different places, resembling ornaments on a christmas tree. The man’s sex partner then slowing starts ripping the nut ornament out of the pubes and eats them.
by MrWashingmachine67 December 28, 2025
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