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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.
I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled
by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!mug.

Jesus pussy

Used in any context

Mainly used to express feelings or emotions
Jesus pussy, that girl has a phat ass!
by Brenny111 September 19, 2022
mugGet the Jesus pussymug.

Jesus

Slang
hay-SUS/JeSUS
1. Fruity, Gay
Used against people named jesus or jesús
Jesus: Hey lets snuggle bro
Jim: Mannn your acting hella jeSUS
by SunRoseGiggles March 9, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.
John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck
by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010
mugGet the Mother of Jesus Christmug.

Jesus Christ Sponge

Commonly referring to the pads of non-working lame excuse for a cleaning tool otherwise known as Shamwow.
It's a fucking Jesus Christ Sponge! Run from the soakage!
by JellysWalkinOnAir December 30, 2009
mugGet the Jesus Christ Spongemug.

Jesus

The type of guy to steel your girl if he likes her. This mf really goes from being open and all out in shit to being quiet, always wearing a hoodie and looks fucking depressed. But dont worry about him stealing her. He's a nice guy.
Oh shit hide yo biches Jesus is coming
by Big daddy11478 November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

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