Gaben is the omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, omnipresent overlord of the PC gaming world. He will grant you deals on any game you may wish to purchase to gain your trust, he will convince you to add more money and then he will sneak up behind you and shove you into a barrel of failed unboxings.
Gamer: Oh BOY , I feel good about this unboxing.
Gaben: YOU GET NOTHING, YOU LOSE! - but you will buy many more crates and keys
by BiohazardPanda December 25, 2016
Valve Software's Gabe Newell's Password for Half-Life Fallout. Was found out by one member and exploited into the "fake gold post" where the member posted as Gabe.
Person 1: Describe Valve Software in 1 word.
Person 2: Gaben!
by Lambda.core June 6, 2005
this dude is a business legend he owns a diner and a megacorporation he even managed to crush Mario and Luigi in the waiter by smg4
yo gaben is so beast
by 24 karat savage May 7, 2019
Gabenism is the belief that a man long ago created the Universe purely out of Steam. He created the Fortress, and the Earth. On Earth, Gaben spawned many creatures, but most importantly, Gordon and Alyx; They are the first humans on earth. They reproduced until the world was full of 7 billion people. We, as descendants of Gaben, must praise our lord, or face the horrible depths of Chell.

Not only do Gabenists believe in Gaben, they also believe in Garry. Garry is an evil being who lives in the deepest layer of Chell. Chell is where the souls who defy Gabengo after they die. If you do not defy Gaben, you go to the Fortress, The Fortress is where holy beings live after they die. The Fortress was guarded by the Mercenaries. You will be given all of the source games, and Steam Sales will be often. Gabenistsalso believe in Steam Sales. A Steam Sale is when Gaben is pleased with his descendants' work, and decides to release a bundle of happiness upon them. (Or in other words, a Steam Sale)

To worship Gaben, you must go to Steam often, buy his games, and never give intoGarry's evil doings.

Sinners will be banished to 720P 30FPS, and will never enjoy good exclusives.
Console guy: Consoles rock!
Gabenism follower: NO! YOU PEASANT. PC is the master race! Gaben is love, Gaben is life!
by Sundowner_Rising February 21, 2016
The one true religion. It states that one day, there will be a third coming of Half Life and on that day, all console peasants will burn in their shitty 15 FPS games.
Kid: "Hey dad, could we go outside?"
Dad: "You are in a house of gabenism. You shall not say that word, young man."
by XxX_2DaNk4Me_XxX November 4, 2015
A joke name for Gabe Newell, one of the most popular employees at Valve Software. He is always teased about his fatness and his inability to count to the number 3, as well as delaying games 9 years. The name comes from a commentary node in Team Fortress 2 where he said he could be reached at He's become one hell of an Internet meme ever since, with many videos, songs, and even sites based around him.
To stop a Gaben, you must take control and press the Gaben.
by NC1223 April 14, 2013