Jonah

The sexiest of men. One smile from Jonah can cause extreme Intoxication. He will always venture to find the ones he loves. He has the uncanny ability to create unnaturally large dookies in just one trip to the toilet. All who see the girth of the crap will gasp in awe. The smell it emits can make one high depending on the size. Jonah is a hero to all who love mystery and memes. No woman can resist the sound of Jonah's voice which is smooth like hard boiled eggs, and deep like slippery dingleberries. When he looks into your eyes, it's like gazing into the eyes of a dead rat: surreal and full of pain. When he holds your hand, you'll want to die because the feeling is so warm and satisfying and it will often lead to instant diarrhea leakage. When he kisses you it's as if all the stars aligned to form a very small but safe turd sailing through the milky way. He will always be there for you, just like constipation. However don't make Jonah angry. He is very protective and will diagnose anyone who displeases him with dysentery.

Don't look now but I think Jonah is staring at you with rage....how's your stomach?

by UrbanJV4 April 7, 2021

Jonah

An absolute cunt. He will snake you when he gets the chance. Don't trust a twat named this.

P.s also a shit name

"Hey have you seen Jonah, I heard he's an absolute cunty snake"

by DaBoi2016 December 10, 2016

Jonah

Gay Faggot Retard, Who fucks his sister. Jonah will always break the bro code and be a total ass. Jonah deserves to get penis cancer.

“Did Jonah fuck his sister again?”- ashton
“Sure did”- breyan

by Ashton Y April 6, 2019

Pull a Jonah

When one has sex with a girl who is on her period and has a tampon in.

Example 1
A: Dude that sex was so bad I think i saw a tampon string hanging out...

B: Oh dude you totally pulled a jonah

Example 2
*Boy tries to take off girl's pants as they hook up*
Girl: I can't... we wouldn't want to pull a jonah.

by thafeld October 14, 2011

Jonah

A fat pig who's life revolves around donuts and minecraft. He is the biggest molester you will ever meet if you see him run just run! And finally he wants to rape you so please if you see him report thanks!

"Look at that Jonah over there he's so fat and ugly"

by Eat the booty 101 November 14, 2017

jonah fucker

The uglyest man on earth...a jonah fucker thinks he is cool but he really isnt...a jonah fucker is a stalker...everyone hates a jonah fucker

Gail:"Omg that kid is such a jonah fucker!"
Victoria:"I know...he thinks he is so cool but he really isnt...stalker much?"

by muchomama December 24, 2008

Jonah

Super mega fagatron

That guy is such a jonah

by Not Jonah May 20, 2019