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crusty seagull

When you have sex on the beach, and the man gets sand into the woman's vagina and she goes 'AWKKHH!' like a seagull.
Me n Jeff had sex on the beach last night, and he gave me a crusty seagull, the wanker.
by redem17 September 25, 2013
mugGet the crusty seagullmug.

Crusty Martha

As in Martha Stewart. A solo sex act that occurs at someone's house other than yours. When they aren't looking, you masturbate and then wipe your seed in their drapes.
While Jennifer was in the bathroom, I pulled a Crusty Martha on her new living room drapes.
by Tron Bobcat February 26, 2010
mugGet the Crusty Marthamug.

Crusty Sandusky

The act of an older person having sex with a much younger person.

Just the act of having sex in a derogatory way
by dons2014 November 12, 2011
mugGet the Crusty Sanduskymug.

crusty gers

A "Crusty Ger" is a phenomenon known to most as what causes the “sleep” or “eye crusties” you may have around your eyes in the morning. “Sleep” is a type of “rheum”, which is the name for discharge from your nose, mouth or eyes during sleep as a result of a dust buildup and lack of blinking during sleep. More specifically, eye rheum is known as “gound”.

In recent years the reduction of dust particles in the average home due to improved living conditions has reduced the risk of this "sleep" building up around ones eyes.

However, unfortunately this void in eye ejaculation has been replaced by what are known as "Crusty Gers". A man from a small town in Athy, Ireland, known to some as Ger Kelly (most likely an alias for a much older man from the same area), is considered the main culprit for a resurgence in the occurrence of crusty eyes. He is rumoured to enter the homes of friends and strangers alike in an effort to ejaculate in their eyes as they sleep. The events are perhaps a religious, meditative or ritualistic act, but are most likely the blind and reckless actions of a bitter old man with a fetish for deranged crime.

Recent (blurred) sightings of the suspect have been reported in and around the city of Shanghai, China.
"Awh man I can barely open my eyes this morning with all this gunk around them!"

"Youve got a serious case of the crusty gers dude, you'd wanna get onto interpol about the shit! He took out a whole hostel in China last night! The fcker!"
by athy credit union November 1, 2013
mugGet the crusty gersmug.

crusty diego

when you jizz and let it dry on your penis, then have ear sex with your mexican slave named diego
man i hope this jizz dries soon so i can go have a crusty diego
by wickedwade August 13, 2011
mugGet the crusty diegomug.

crusty bloomers

An unwashed pair of old ladies' knickers which have been worn for so long without changing them, they develop a layer of crust on the inside.
Edith struggled for half-an-hour or more to peel off her stinking crusty bloomers from around her mid-riff.

"That was worse than peeling gaffer tape off a foam mattress", she remarked.
by The Double Bass Adonis August 16, 2012
mugGet the crusty bloomersmug.

Crusty Muppet

A sock used by a male for masturbation.
My mom was shocked when she found my Crusty Muppet.
by RobsWorldIRL April 14, 2022
mugGet the Crusty Muppetmug.

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