by milk ducks February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. While wearing a racoon skin hat, pour warm maple syrup down her back so she thinks you came. When she turns around, you knock her out with a hockey stick and start singing 'oh canada' with your member in her unconcious mouth. When she wakes up, you proceed to crap a hockey puck sized dumper on her chest.
Joe: Why is your girlfriend smelly and missing some teeth?
Me: She learned about Canada's history last night.
Me: She learned about Canada's history last night.
by Colbert Reporter February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. This is the most offensive sexual act that has ever been performed in the history of Canada. It involves moose antlers, a gallon of maple syrup, 14.5 people. This makes the "Aristocrats" seem like soft core porn!
Canadian #1 : "Did you hear that the magazine 'The Beaver' is changing its name to 'Canada's History' because of the porn filters on search engines?"
Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
by SColbert February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. My girlfriend was mad cause I gave her some Canada's History last night; she spent most of the night washing cheese curds out of her beaver.
by ColbertFanDC February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sex act so depraved that Stephen Colbert could not describe it on air in his Feb 4, 2010 episode. His only hints were that the act involved moose antlers, a jar of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
Man, that was one rough night last night. My friends and I tried to recreate Canada's History. I was on the receiving end of the Stanley Cup... I'm still sore...
by schlagsahne February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. When you shove a Canadian Goose up your ass and use your free healthcare to repair your damaged anus.
"I just got back from the doctor's office, one more Canada's History and I'll be shitting feathers for the rest of my life."
by Amanda Beatnkill February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. An incredibly long, drawn-out sexual act involving a man, a woman, their daughter and son, Grandma (it helps if she's from Quebec), the family collie, moose antlers, maple syrup and a piece of hockey equipment from a former Shawinigan Junior-B player named Red Stanley (aka "Stanley's Cup", sometimes misinterpreted as the trophy from a professional hockey league).
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
"Last night's performance of Canada's History was so intense that Grandma's glass-eye wouldn't come back out."
by grapevine1015 February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.