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cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".
Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...
by Fearman March 11, 2008
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selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.
JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"
by GbAbE September 9, 2018
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shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load
I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!
by Try It June 14, 2015
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read description

An easy way on eBay to say that whatever item you're selling is absolute dogshit, or has some sort of overwhelmingly huge flaw that would render it useless. e.g. "iPhone XR good condition READ DESCRIPTION" and in description, "BAD ESN" (this means you can't activate it, it's probably stolen).

Or a good one, is when they are retail demos and have SCREEN BURN-IN. Who the fuck wants to look at a burnt-in image?

Stolen shit usually is "read description" since they probably ripped it out of someone's hand.

Often, the seller will say, "re4d", "l00k", or some other bullshit to prevent you from subtracting their trash listing from the results. Also, same applies for "icl0ud", "cr4cked", and other things like "acc0unt". Really disingenuous stuff. Report them whenever you see them.
"iPhone XS MAX GOOD CONDITION READ DESCRIPTION"
Description: "... BAD ESN iCLOUD LOCKED"
by Doge 2.0 March 29, 2021
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read/edit

In writing, or especially in typing, when you read over something you've already written and make modifications as you go. For example, you read "happy, joyful, optimistic" and change it to "happy, joyful, and optimistic." Read/editing is usually done in a casual situation, like a Facebook message to a friend, but can also apply to more serious situations, like your college application.
Martha was nervous about the message her text would send, so she spent a minute read/editing it.
by Lieutenant Commander DATA September 24, 2011
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Fart Reading

Commonly used online when someone claims to be a fast reader though they often misread or misunderstanding texts, failing to even see their own misspelling. First became common lingo on 4 chan /pol/.
Anon 1: You misread and turn things into something completely different
Anon 2: I just read fast, nothing wrong with fart reading.
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Brayden read

Very gay and gets hard near men
Brayden read likes guys and watching porn
by Thick bittys 101 May 6, 2019
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