election

A kind of legitimised "pick-an-asshole" competition held in certain countries that have democratic tendencies. In this "election", a bunch of worthless bastards who wouldn't know a moral if it kicked them in the nuts and danced around them singing "I'm a moral", lie through their teeth and kiss babies in an effort to suck at the public teat for another 3-4 years. Elections are characterised by weasels sticking their faces in front of cameras on a daily basis, a media frenzy that resembles dropping a steak into a piranha tank, and chronic voter nausea as they are forced to decide yet again between a potential disaster and a proven failure. Luckily, watching elections hasn't made me bitter about them...

Person 1: Dude, did you watch the election coverage?
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.

Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.

Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!

by Big Bad Mark January 31, 2005

erection infection

Any STD

Better use a condom or you may end up with an erection infection.

by tonto1 October 27, 2011

erection ring

Slightly less risqué way to say "cock ring." Device that fits around penis and/or testicles and has a semi-tourniquet function to hold erections longer.

"Some drugstore. Where the hell do they keep the cock rings?"

"Shhhh."

"Where the hell do they keep the erection rings?"

"Hell if I know. Try 'Adult Pleasures' or 'Family Planning.'"

by al-in-chgo May 30, 2013

erection team

A Team of people dedicated to dealing with erections from start to finish

We had the erection team on standby incase it began to subside

by Chibbers October 10, 2014

Erection Sweat

the sweat you get after a long hard erection.

I drunk my erection sweat I was so thirsty.

by ChineseDiabetes June 25, 2016

Electionitis

Medical condition caused by a lack of viable candidates from which to choose resulting in apathy.

I'm not voting this year, I've got electionitis.

by Dump truck November 9, 2016

Erection Misdirection

When you are about to go to town with your girl, but little does she know
your mighty flagpole rises because you are thinking about her sister...

Kyle: Dude, you and Marsha hooked up last night!
Mark: Yeah bro but I had a little erection misdirection,
... Her sister Savannah was singing in the shower

Kyle: Whatever man sounds like she still copped that nut!
Mark: Chuuuurch...
Kyle: ...and Savannah better watch out!
Mark: HELLZ YEAH, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT..

by TerryCowboy November 3, 2018