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Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)
Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"
by afuckingtech February 11, 2024
mugGet the Jesus cablemug.

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples
The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8
by Showi April 19, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Black Jesus

Black Jesus is a nickname given to highly regarded as the greatest basketball player of all time Micheal Jordan
Bro we dont shit talk to Black Jesus cause if we do he will give us 60
by FadedIsCool January 28, 2023
mugGet the Black Jesusmug.

Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesus's Armymug.

Jesus Mojica

Fiend ass mothafucka that likes to fuck bitches named MANMEET. he is a gay ass mothafucka and likes getting butt fucked.
JESUS MOJICA JUST GAVE ME HEAD.
by MANMEERRR December 13, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Mojicamug.

Jesus

What my manager calls the church a few minutes up the road from my house
My manager when he drops me home: "I am going to take you to Jesus!"
by Jack Spank9049 January 7, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.
Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.
by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

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